


A desert oasis

by E_Leonora



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note: Another Note
Genre: Airplane Crashes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Death Note, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attraction, Be warned!, Bottom Yagami Light, But we will fix him, Character Death, Cheating, Confusion, Denial of Feelings, Desert, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Face-Fucking, Forced Orgasm, Healing, Jealousy, L is a bad guy here, Large cage, M/M, Mutual Pining, Porn With Plot, Rape, Rape Kink, Rape/Non-con Elements, Regret, Seke Beyond Birthday, Slow Burn, Sprinkleprompts, Survival, Top L (Death Note), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:02:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 38,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25242091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_Leonora/pseuds/E_Leonora
Summary: Yagami Light was one of the best pilots in his region. He had a couple of years of experience, and was really good at his job, so his company offered him a well-paid job abroad in their branch in Tunisia, where he had to transport cargo and mostly travel through the desert and whole Tunisia country and more.Ambitious, eager for adventures, and new experiences, he accepted the offer and moved with his girlfriend to Africa, where he immediately started working.However, after about a month, he had an accident in the middle of the desert and had a problem to survive, when he almost died of dehydration and starvation. But, fortunately or perhaps not so much, he came across a desert oasis.There, locked in a large cage, in exchange for water, food and pure survival he experienced hell.* * *FB AO3 group, writing game #Sprinkleprompts by Sprinkledcupcake1. Survival2. A large cage3. A desert oasis* * *
Relationships: Beyond Birthday/L, L/Near | Nate River, L/Yagami Light, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl, Takada Kiyomi/Yagami Light
Comments: 209
Kudos: 53





	1. Plane crash

**Author's Note:**

> This time we are moving from the Ocean and the ocean depths to the desert. While I was still writing MERMAN, I saw a post - game for writers on Facebook AO3 group, so I gave it a try, and got three words (everyone got their own words/themes to write) - first one was genre, I got - survival. Second one, object - a large cage, and third, location - a desert oasis. I have to admit that I planned to write a story without smut or any kind of sexual actions, but I failed xD as you all can see. Eh... I just couldn’t help it, but write what my wild imagination want me to. :D
> 
> All in all, I hope you'll enjoy this adventure with me. The story was supposed to be just a one-shot, but... well... that was mission impossible for me. xD
> 
> I hope that is not a problem... I apologize.

He said it will be fun.

That it will be interesting to move to a completely different corner of the world.

He had already traveled almost through all of his homeland, so he wanted to see different corners of the world and a some new cultures.

He was simply adventurous, he couldn't stand boredom and it was not interesting for him to stay and live in only one place. One of his dreams was to visit areas where deserts predominate.

He remembered his girlfriend's words, when she tried to dissuade him from that. She said that it can be dangerous in the desert, if something accidentally happens. That there will be other opportunities for work in a normal places of the world.

*CRACK*

Light was telling her and assured her not to be paranoid and that accidents don’t happen that often.

"It will be fine, don't worry, honey..."

"Love. Listen to me. You have a good job here in Japan. We can travel during your vacation wherever we want. We don't have to move into foreign land..."

"But I want...! Just imagine how cool it is there... sand everywhere, sunny all day long, exotic dishes, drinks, new things to see..."

He saw her roll her eyes.

"As you wish, but I don't like the idea at all."

"We are going."

*her dark eyes stared at him*

But, it is enough to happen just only once, and to change life from the roots.

At that moment, he didn't know what awaited for him there.

*BIP BIP BIIIIIP ------ *

His associates, and he got on the plane and did the basic checks. The plane was quite older, but most of the planes there were like that, not all of them were completely new. Maintenance were done regularly. Everything was supposed to be in perfect order.

*BANG*

At one point he realized that things were getting out of control.

Everything after happened in the blink of an eye.

Like, when you say some ugly words that you can't take back.

*CLANG*

Panic and fear prevailed and no experience was helpful.

Engine failure.

"Fuck!"

The copilot also panicked, but was helping him to the end.

All that was left was to land as safely as possible.

Control was lost, both over the plane and over the life.

It was a nasty feeling.

*loud engine crashing*

*

When Light opened his eyes, he didn't know what had happened for the first few seconds.

He was confused.

Then the memories began to reach him and he remembered where he was and what happened and why he was in such an unenviable position. Why does his back hurt, and why his legs and head hurt.

Light looked to the side, where his colleague should have been. He felt nauseous when he saw his lifeless body.

He almost vomited.

"Auch, shit...! What the fuck! Nooo... NO..."

The plane crashed, and there was no way to bring everything back, and no chance that he could save the situation that got out of control.

He tried to get out.

His legs were stuck, but he slowly managed to pull them out. Fortunately, he didn't suffer any life-threatening injuries, and he could move. He found a way out through the wreckage of the plane with difficulty, and finally found himself outside.

He gasped loudly, and turned to face the wrecked plane to see the damage.

The others certainly didn't have the chances of surviving, and if they did survive somehow, there was no time to get them out.

"Oh, fuck!"

He couldn't believe he had survived at all.

As it crashed, the plane broke in half. The smoke began to rise stronger, Light realized that it will probably burst into fire or explode soon.

He stepped away a little from the crashed plane and looked around and saw only desolation.

"Holy shit!"

He was annoyed, panicked, scared, confused and all at once.

"Water...! I will need water..." he muttered to himself and hurried back to the plane.

He searched the interior for things that might be necessary for him to survive. Water, food - he was trying to find his backpack. When he finally found it, he set out to look for a compass.

"Shit... shit... where are you when I need you the most?!?"

He searched everything but didn't find it. The smoke had already begun to enter the interior, Light knew he had to get away from the plane soon if he wanted to survive.

"Dammit!"

He picked up a few more things, packed them in his backpack and got off the plane, walking away quickly. When he looked at the plane again, he noticed that it had started to burn. The fire quickly began to spread and the plane exploded after a few moments.

Luckily, Light had been already far away enough, but the explosion threw him forward anyway, and he sank with his hands and face into the sand from the force of the explosion.

"Auch..."

That hurt.

Light barely got up on all fours. He was hurt and tired of everything that had happened.

He remembered his girlfriend's words. He himself slowly began to regret his idea of a fun and interesting life in the desert.

'Why does something like this happen to me...? Now I am doomed to wander the desert, and I was once so eager for it. Just wonderful! I believe that I will have enough of it as long as I live, if I get out of here alive at all.'

He sighed and stood up. He remembered his dead colleagues and was grateful that he survived.

He looked around again into that wide desert that stretched all around him.

There was no sign of anything living in the area.

He was alone.

It was around noon and the sun was very hot. He didn't know which way to go. He was trying to remember what position he was in before his plane broke down. Will it be closer to him to go back or move forward.

He was somewhere in the middle. Neither way was the right way.

He tried to calm down a bit and to listen his intuition.

Going through the desert, one had to survive on foot. And his body was not yet accustomed to such a climate and weather. He knew he had to think carefully about what to do next.

In any case, he knew he had to move at least slowly. Not too fast so as not to expend energy quickly.

He traveled by plane for two hours, which meant he had probably a few days to walk. 'Shit!'

But Light was not one of those people who give up easily. He knew that there was a chance that he would come across a desert oasis where he could rest and drink water, maybe if he was happy find something to eat too.

He was one of those people who were positive.

He believed that everything was happening for a reason.

He believed that he will survive and he was determined to do so.


	2. Alone in the desert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I happily present you new chapter of this still new fic. :D
> 
> enjoy.

In the middle of the desert, walking it's not a joke, Light realized quickly, that's why he decided to move as much as possible at night. He also thought about staying at the scene of the accident, but he knew it wasn't worth the risk. He had really little amount of supplies of food and water with him, so he rather took the risk of finding a different shelter, and perhaps with enough luck, get out of the desert. Alone or with someone's help.

His shirt served to protect his head, neck and face from the sun. He held it above his head when he walked during the day, and he had googles on his eyes all the time to protect them from the sand. He was dressed in the dark-brown jacket, even though it was hot he had to protect his skin.

He ate very small amount of food just to keep hunger under control, so that he would not be thirsty and therefore had to drink more water.

The sun was already setting when Light began to slowly prepare for his night travel. Three days passed and he didn't found any shelter or any desert oasis. He only had water for maybe a whole day. He saved it as much as he could, drinking something from the cactus and other plants he came across at the time, but that was not enough.

As he walked there all alone in the dark, his thoughts wandered everywhere.

He was no longer as worried and frightened as he had been on the first day. He's already used to it. If he had enough food and water, he wouldn't care at all that he was walking in the desert all by himself.

He enjoyed solitude.

He thought he would hate that place, but somehow he loved it even more. It seemed crazy to him when he thought about it, but in some inexplicable way he loved the place and was feeling good.

It was scarier to move at night when there was no light, but fortunately, the nights were not completely dark, and the flashlight he had with him helped him a lot.

That night also, the night sky was beautiful, illuminated by billions of stars. Light liked to stop in the middle of his walk, and just admire them.

He did it this time too.

He paused, turned off the flashlight, and raised his head to the sky. A small smile appeared on his face. He blinked and warm tears rolled down his face.

He was not sad.

Nor was he nostalgic.

Light himself didn't know what exactly he felt, but he felt that hard times were coming for him.

He felt some kind of change in the air.

He wondered what it could be.

His chest tightened, and he shuddered.

After a moment, while still standing in the place he asked the silent question to the universe, 'will I ever manage to get out of there alive...?'

He tried to calm the rush of feelings and find the answer within himself.

His heart whispered to him that he will, and that he don't need to worry about it.

He inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly.

Then he looked in front of himself. He didn't turn on the flashlight again to save batteries, because really there was no need for additional light, it was not that dark. This night was brighter than the previous one.

As he continued to walk, he thought again of his girlfriend and their relationship. 'She's probably dying from the worry. She will scold me when I return and will probably demand that we return back home. Eh...'

Apart from the fact that she was often jealous, and didn't want to travel around the world much, Light considered their relationship as good. Sex wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t anything special either. Since they had been together for two years, Light assumed that it was normal that the passion had died down and everything had become somehow mechanical. Although, he had to admit, he sometimes missed it.

Sometimes, he wanted to feel something more.

He wanted to feel alive.

He released a heavy sigh.

After that he remembered his little secret. This made him nervous even though he knew he didn’t have to worry because Kyomi didn’t know the password to his laptop. Therefore, those few clips that he had downloaded and a couple of photos are safe from finding.

He tried not to think about it at the time.

He knew that this could lead him to various fantasies that he didn't want to provoke there. Instead, he focused on his journey through the desert. He looked carefully around and looked for things that could be a source of water or food.

*

That night passed and the whole next day too, which Light spent mostly sleeping, hidden in the shade under the big rock and dry, dead tree.

He was tired. And exhausted. His body was already beginning to feel the lack of water and food more intensively.

In the first days, it was all easier to bear, but the average human body is not used to function like that.

When it was evening again, Light woke up. He drove the drowsiness out of his eyes, rubbing them, and rose to a sitting position.

He looked around. He didn't see anything in particular. Only a couple of cacti in the area, which he planned to cut down and suck water out of them.

When it got enough dark, he headed for those plants. When he felt he had quenched his thirst enough, he kept walking. Then he began to feel expressive hunger.

He paused and looked for food in his backpack. He ate the last piece of bread and crackers. 'Shit, I'm really going to stay hungry now...'

He searched the backpack again, hoping he might find something more to eat, but found nothing. He sighed and continued to walk.

'I have no choice now, but to start hunting.'

As he walked, he heard something not far from him. He quickly turned on the flashlight and looked around, even though he knew it wasn't the best idea, but saw nothing. 'Just some animals, probably...'

He hoped that he was approaching a water source because he had saw various animals since the last day. It was a bit dangerous to move around at night because there were more snakes, scorpions and similar creatures.

The sky was beautiful that night too.

Light felt like he was somewhere at the end of the world. He didn't see civilization for just a few days and felt like a few years had passed.

He began to feel some restlessness in his heart, all the time as he went forward. But he was not afraid.

Then he paused.

He felt so tired suddenly.

Just a little more.

He knew he had to endure a little longer.

*

Dehydration and hunger tired him out.

His body went forward on autopilot.

He has already begun to lose his optimism and hope.

The light from the east slowly began to rise, and he went forward to it.

He felt dizzy, and stopped.

He sat down in the sand and put his head in his palms.

He sat like that for a few moments.

He had to look for some place he could hide to get through the daily heat again.

Just a little longer...

When he raised his head he looked in the distance. He saw a light.

A tiny little light.

He thought he was imagining things.

'I must already be hallucinating... there are no lights in the middle of the desert...'

He got up and picked up his things. He narrowed his eyes to see better.

He still saw the light. Not one, but two.

'I have to get closer... I hope it won't disappear.'

As he approached those lights, the sun began to illuminate the sky. He noticed vegetation in the background around the lights.

"Oh my God... could it be...?" He mumbled to himself. His heart jumped out of joy.

'I'm saved... I'M SAVED!'

He walked slowly in that direction. He began to see more and more lights. 'This must be some larger oasis, safely inhabited... or do I see a village?'

When he finally approached the place, he noticed that it was a big oasis. Definitely a populated one.

"Woow..." he paused and looked at the place amazed. He wanted to take the next step but stopped. He decided it was better to wait a little for sun to rise higher. He hid behind the stones and decided that he will wait a bit first and observe the situation. These people living here, however, don't have to be hospitable.

The sun was rising high and Light was already beginning to feel exhausted. He knew he could no longer delay it.

He prayed that everything will be fine.

As he got closer, he noticed the guards.

It occurred to him that it could be some kind of hidden location with who knows what kind of secret activities. Seeing the armed guards, he didn't hope they will receive him with open arms.

But, he knew he had no choice.

'I just hope they don't shoot me in the head as soon as they notice me...'

He was determined and headed to their direction. As he entered among the vegetation, various palms, and big trees, he suddenly lost the ground beneath his feet.

"What the-!?"

He fell forward, and in just a few moments found himself in the air with bars all around him, like animal in a cage.

He fell into a trap.

'Shit!'

The guards noticed that the trap was activated and apparently caught something. They ran towards him.

He didn't understand anything because they were speaking Arabic.

'Oh just great!'

One of the guards put the cage down, and the other went hurriedly somewhere.

After a few minutes, three people came with a guard. Light noticed that they were younger than them but that they were also armed. And, they looked different nationality from the guards.

They stopped in front of the cage and watched him. To Light they also didn't seem very hospitable. 'Oh... well.'

A blond-haired man, dressed in a black leather jacket and leather-tight trousers, who looked like a woman to him until he first time spoke, approached the cage and asked, to Light's joy and surprise, in English, "who are you and what are you doing here?"

"I'm not here to cause trouble..." Light raised his hands in defense, "my plane crashed, and I was only one who survived, wandering here in the desert. I was without water and food for a while. I'm looking for some shelter to survive."

"Hm... so, you're a pilot?"

They shared a look, then blonde man continued, "you didn't answer, what's your name?"

"My name is Yagami Light. I'm actually from Japan. I was only recently transferred here to work..."

"He is from Japan... why I'm not surprised?" on the blonde young man's face a frown appeared. And, the other, white haired man, standing to the left had an unpleasant look on his face. Light wondered what had made the young man look at him like that.

And the face of a black-haired man with large dark eyes, and dark circles under them, was neutral and looked somehow bored.

But, to Light, that man seemed the most dangerous of the three of them.

Light began to feel uncomfortable, because they just looked at him quietly observing him.

'Do they have a problem with the Japanese people...? Don't tell me... I hope not...' it crossed Light's mind and he stirred nervously.

The man with dark hair stepped forward, pulled out his bottle and gave Light his own water. Light looked at the bottle and could barely contain his grimace.

'It's a bottle that man probably drank from. Who knows what diseases he can transmit to me...,' was his first thought. But, as not to offend him, and stay thirsty or completely dehydrated, he quickly took the bottle in his hands and started drinking eagerly.

No matter how dehydrated he was, Light was sensitive to such things. He tasted the water a little first, and when he was convinced that it tasted normal and that it was really water, he continued to drink in larger sips.

The men were still just watching him.

Light drank all the water the man gave him. The bottle was not big, so he couldn't even overdo it and feel sick. But, it tasted good, cold and fresh.

When he finished, he held out the bottle and said to the strange looking man, "Thank you."

The man took it and put it back in his pocket of the black jacket he was wearing.

Then the blond young man broke the silence again, "what do we do with him?" He turned to his black-haired companion, who, Light assumed, was the head among the three of them.

"Leave him in the cage until we find out his identity, and whether there is any threat to us from him. And... move him somewhere in the shade."

Light added confusedly, "why should I stay in this cage...? I told you who I am and what happened to me..."

"We know. But we have to check it out. Give us your backpack."

The blonde man unlocked the door and took Light's backpack, which Light reluctantly handed him. He knew he had nothing to hide, although he wanted to protest, he gave up on the idea.

Then the three men turned and walked away from him, leaving him alone.

Light frowned.

He didn't have a good feeling at all.


	3. Hell begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone who read this fic. 😁 Here I am back with an early update. 😁

From fatigue and sleepless nights, he fell asleep almost immediately when guards moved the cage. He was on the edge of his strength, so his body began to defend itself by knocking him to sleep.

When hunger woke him up after a few hours, he opened his eyes and blinked confusedly at first. 'Where am I...?'

He rose slowly to a sitting position and rubbed his eyes, looking around.

Cage.

He was in the cage.

Buildings around him.

Living world around him.

He was not alone.

Then, he noticed a man standing on the side of the cage, watching him with his finger attached to his lip, slightly bent forward with his messy black hair.

Light remembered.

At that moment, he remembered where he was and what had happened before he fell asleep.

They left him locked in a cage and moved him to the shade.

While they were watching each other like that, without saying anything, the black-haired man came closer to the bars. He took out a bottle of water and shook it a little. "I brought you water. I guess you're hungry too. Food will be brought to you soon..."

"Yes. Thank you." Light tried to hide the discomfort he felt as the other, slightly bizarre-looking man, watched him.

The black-haired man then took out the key and started to unlock the cage, saying: "the first bottle of water was for free, but if you want us to feed you here and continue to give you water, then you have to pay... or, better to say, return those favors."

"T-to pay...?"

"Yes."

The man unlocked and opened the door, went inside, and locked it behind him.

"W-what are you doing...?" Light began to panic. His heart beat faster. At that moment, he saw that a pair of handcuffs were hanging on the man's trousers, which in a way frightened him even more and his body took an alarming position. He was preparing to defend himself.

The man was closing the distance between them and was looking at him with his piercing eyes.

'Shit. This is not good. Not good....!'

"I came to charge in advance."

"I... I... I don't have any money right now... you have my backpack. There's all the money..."

"I didn't come to take your money."

'Fuck.'

"Well... then... I... I..."

Light backed away from him as the man approached him. Feeling the hardness of the bars on his back, Light began to tremble. The man leaned over him and grabbed Light by the chin, lifting his head up to look him straight in the face.

Light began to shook even more. He was about to attack the man soon, if he made any inappropriate move.

"I don't need your money. I have it enough." He whispered to his ear, leaning closer.

The brown-haired man suppressed a whimper. He didn't want to show weakness. All those assumptions about the payment that the man mentioned, seemed more and more to be true.

Maybe he's wrong. He hoped he was wrong, and that he was just imagining things.

But, however, when the man began to run his thumb through his dry lips, he began to be sure. And when he saw the man licking his lips hungrily, and lust clouding his eyes, he was horrified.

'NO.'

As if reading his mind, the hand that was holding his chin a few moments ago, ended up in his hair. And Light's face, which was a few inches from the man's, ended up down on the wooden floor of the cage.

'FUCK!'

Light groaned and tried to free himself from the other man's grasp.

"Let go of me!!!" He shouted, but in vain. He was weak and tired. He felt as if his bones would break under the pressure the man exerted on him as he held him nailed to the ground, placing his hands behind his back and handcuffing them.

"NO! NO!!! Let go of me!!!" Light was screaming, his voice hoarse. "Let me gooooo!!!"

If he hadn't been so dehydrated, his tears would probably have started to flow. But they didn't. He just sobbed softly. Terrified. Helpless. Without the strength to defend himself.

He thought that if he was in his full strength, such a thing wouldn't happen to him. He wouldn't allow that. That man simply knew how to take advantage of the situation.

"Auch... let me go...!"

"Do you want to drink? Do you want to eat? Then, shut up, and do what I tell you. Now, get on your knees." The man said in a monotone tone. It was like he was bored. He stood up and gave Light a chance to get on his knees.

Light noticed that his whole body ached. He barely had the strength to get up. It was much harder because he had his hands behind his back. But he succeeded.

The barefoot man stepped closer and put his hand on Light's head, ruffling his long honey-colored hair. Then he tightened his grip, with strands of Light's hair in his palm. Light screamed in pain.

The black-haired man then pushed his hips forward, revealing his hardness in his pants. Without shame.

Light's eyes widened, from shock and fear and from what he assumed was to follow. 'NO!'

At that moment, the man pushed Light's head forward and Light ended up with his face buried in his pants. He wanted to turn his head to the side, but the man directed it towards his erection, which was getting harder and harder. His scent overwhelmed him.

"Ahhh..." the black-haired man felt a growing excitement. He dipped his other hand into the hair of the young man he had seen today for the first time. Then he pulled him away from him, while he unbuttoned his slit and released his hard cock.

'Fuck... no!'

"No! Please. Don't do this!" Light closed his eyes and his lips, squeezing them in a thin line.

He tried to turn away from it. But he didn't succeed as the man continued to turn his head in the directions he wanted.

"Suck it! Make me come."

"No... please... no... I have money... I'll give you all my money, or... or anything else... But, please, don't do this..."

"Hm... something else...?"

"Yes..."

Pulling him by the hair, he threw him back on the wooden floor. Face down. He leaned over him, starting to take off Light's pants.

"NOOO!!! Noooo! I didn't mean that!!!" Light screamed in panic.

"But, you say anything else..."

"FUCK! Not that!!! That's the same thing!"

The man smirked and stood up. "Get up! Get back on your knees."

"Fuck! No!"

"Then I'll lift you up." He tugged at his hair and Light quickly found himself on his knees again. The man pushed him into the corner of the cage, stroking his hardness with one hand, approaching Light's terrified face.

"Lick it." He said monotonously, but commandingly. "Stick out your tongue and lick it."

Light was unwilling to obey. As the hard thing approached his face and lips, he began to feel nauseous.

"Please... don't... please...!" He begged the man to stop. But, of course, the bastard didn't listen to him, but pushed his cock towards his mouth and ran it over them, causing shivers of disgust in Light.

Light closed his eyes again and tried to avoid the inevitable. At that moment, he wished he had died somewhere in the middle of the desert from hunger and thirst. "NO! Leave me be!!! I don't want it! Just leave me to die! I want to die!!!"

The man paused at those words. "You want to die, now, after all...? Why didn't you think about it before you approached this oasis, hm? Back there you wanted to live, hm???"

"I... I..."

"Yes, I suppose." The man answered for him.

Light only bit at his lip.

"Okay, if that's what you want, that mean you've given up on yourself, you're under my command now. Also you're in my place now, and you'll do whatever I tell you." The man pulled his hair harder.

"No... I didn't mean that ..."

"No excuses will be accepted from now on. It's too late for that. Lick it."

Light still didn't obey.

"Don't make me use force. You'd better do it yourself. You'll spare yourself the torment."

Light swallowed that little saliva he had accumulated in his mouth. His mouth was dry, he licked them a little to moisten it. He frowned at the very thought of what he was going to do. He tried not to think about it.

To make things easier for himself, and because he had no other experience, he started to think of the clips he had watched countless times before.

How all these men did it.

He felt stupid and bizarre because that's exactly what was happening to him. Things he secretly fantasized about, but never thought would come true for him. Nor did he planed to ever fulfill them with another man. He wanted it to stay as a secret.

He began to tremble. He was confused and terrified, still in disbelief.

'Why is this happening to me ...? It was just an innocent fantasy... I don't want this... not like this... '

He finally parted his lips. The man had already begun to be impatient, so he shoved his glans into Light's mouth.

The younger man's eyes widened, and he had no way to move, to avoid it.

"I told you to start it by yourself... this will be only harder for you."

He took it out and pushed it in again, repeating the action. He repeated it until he pushed it halfway into Light's mouth. With each thrust even deeper and deeper.

Light had a feeling he was going to suffocate. It made him nauseous, but since his stomach was empty, he had nothing to throw up. His eyes began to tear. His mouth and jaw ached. His neck ached. Everything hurt him. And, most of all, his heart and his soul suffered the most.

But, the man didn't stop deepthroat him and fuck his mouth. Faster and faster.

As he began to approach his climax, Light could hear him moaning. His hard cock pulsing in his mouth.

At those sounds Light's cock twitched and stiffen too.

It all seemed like an eternity.

He tried to endure.

Not to think about it.

But he couldn't.

Suddenly he heard a louder moan and a cry of pleasure and he felt the semen slide down his throat.

He felt nauseous again and had an urge to vomit.

When the man finished, he took out his semi-hard cock and buttoned his pants. Light, meanwhile, fell to the floor with a loud thud.

He was maximally exhausted. He couldn't take it any longer, mentally or physically.

He fainted, darkness surrounding him.


	4. I just want to disappear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next round of rape follows. Brace yourselves!

Light was awakened by a loud thumping on the bars. He opened his eyes with difficulty, looked in the direction of the source of the sound and saw a blond young man standing in front of the cage. It took him a while to focus his eyes to see clearly.

"Hey, are you okay? I brought you more water and food too."

Light rose to a sitting position. He noticed that his hands were no longer tied.

He felt relieved.

The young man put his food inside through the bars. "I'm really sorry, but I don't have the key. I have to give it to you like this..."

Light watched the glass and food in the small bowl for a moment, then looked at the young man again.

"What's the matter?"

He was hungry, but he remembered what had happened to him just a few hours ago, so he thought his food might be poisoned or something. But, the hunger was so big and the food smelled so good, that he didn't care about anything, just grabbed a fork and started eating.

The young man stood in front of the cage and watched him eating, when he suddenly asked, "what happened to your lips? You have them bloody at the corners..."

Light paused. Does that mean that this young man doesn't know what happened or wants to mock him? Because he seemed serious to him, Light believed in his concern.

When he swallowed the food, he replied, "really...? I didn't notice... they probably chapped from dryness and dehydration..."

The blonde frowned. "Chapped right at the corners... that's weird..."

"Well... I don't know what else it could be." Light said and continued to stuff the food into his mouth, eagerly. It was delicious even though he didn't know exactly what he was eating. He only saw that there were some noodles with vegetables and pieces of meat mixed together.

"Eat slowly... you'll get sick."

Light just nodded, continuing his pace.

The young man just sighed and said, "by the way, I'm Michael."

Light paused again briefly and nodded, surprised that the young man had introduced himself to him at all.

"Some call me Mello. So, if it's easier for you, you can call me that."

"Okay... well, you know my name, and... I don't have any nicknames."

"Yeah, and well... we've searched for details about you and you don't seem like any threat to us... I don't know why L hasn't released you from the cage yet, really. But, unfortunately, I'm not sure if I can help you with that, but I will try my best."

The brown-haired man frowned at the mention of that name. 'So they call him L... that rapist. All in all, it's probably not his real name, just like Michael is not Mello. But I will have to find out his real name because after this I will surely sue him. Especially if he continues to harass me and if he keeps me locked here.'

Light just shrugged, as if nothing had happened, and said, "I don't know either..."

*

Light was feeling a little better. During that day, Mello was bringing him food and water in small portions. He knew that he should feel normal again in a few days. He was still in the cage, but he didn't care much about it. He was pleased not to have seen the rapist by the end of the day.

In the early evening, Mello brought him dinner and a pillow and a blanket so he could cover himself overnight and sleep more comfortably.

"Thank you."

The two didn't talk much. The young man would always bring him food and water and only wait for him to finish or come later for a plate.

Now that Mello was gone, Light adjusted comfortably as much as he could, and went to sleep. It was still uncomfortable to lie only on wooden planks, but he hoped that they will free him soon and gave him some normal place to sleep.

He really didn't know how much they planned to keep him there, Mello explained to him once that they only went to the town once a month to get food supplies and to trade. Since they were there a week ago, he need to endure there three more weeks. Mello told him that he don't hope to go home sooner.

Light wasn't thrilled with it, but he knew he had no other choice. Whenever he thought about what that other man had done to him, he was horrified. He was afraid that he would have to endure a lot more.

He thought over how he could defend himself if a similar situation occurred again.

As he thought about it, he saw a black-haired man approach the cage. He shuddered at the very sight of him and felt nausea in his stomach and growing anxiety.

The man unlocked the cage and went inside.

"You stink." he said taking the blanket off Light's lying body, grabbing his arm, lifting him up. "Come on, you have to take a shower."

Light wanted to protest, but changed his mind. Bathing was not such a bad idea. He smelled to himself and could no longer stand it, refreshment would please him and it would be welcome.

They walked towards the gray one-floor building with small windows with bars on them, L still holding him firmly.

When they got to the bathroom, the man placed him in front of the shower and said, "Take off your clothes."

Light hesitated.

L rolled his eyes. "You don't have anything I haven't seen before. Hurry up!"

The brown-haired man sighed and began to undress reluctantly. When he was fully naked, he entered the shower. He saw that the black-haired man took off his jacket and remained only in a short-sleeved T-shirt and shorts. He released the warm water and walked away from Light.

Feeling warm water on his body after so much time was a pleasant feeling. He had his back turned to the man, while he enjoyed the stream of water falling from above on his weary body.

Light relaxed to such an extent that at the moment he forget where he was and who he was there with.

Suddenly the water stopped flowing, and he heard the command: "hands on the tiles!"

He turned to the man with the questioning look.

"Didn't hear me?!"

Light bit his lip and put his hands as the man had ordered. When he saw man's hand approaching him, he tensed, but the hand only went to take the shower gel that was on the shelf beside him.

Light was relieved, but he soon realized what that meant. His fears were confirmed when he felt the man's hands on his back. He jumped a little and exclaimed, "HEY! I can shower myself! I'm not that incompetent!"

But, the man didn't listen to him, only continued to rub the gel into his skin. Light backed away from him into the corner of the shower tray.

"Get away from me!"

"I told you you had to do what I told you to do..." The man reacted to that in a monotone voice.

"Leave me alone!"

"You don't give me much choice, Yagami-kun." L then entered the shower.

Light was a little confused that the man addressed him by his name, but reacted, "get away from me! Leave me fucking alone to take a damn shower!"

"I could have left you without a shower. Don't be ungrateful. I just wanted to help you."

"I don't need your help! This is harassment!"

"Oh, really...? I didn't know."

Light tried to push him away when the man came too close. But L was stronger than him. He pressed him to the wall and began whispering to his ear, "the more you resist, the bigger the punishment will be. You've already earned some negative points with this behavior. If that suits you, just keep going."

Light shivered and swallowed hard. Although he wanted to break the man's head, he decided to be obedient. He nodded.

"Good boy."

He turned to the tiles again because he didn't want to look at the man. L continued where he left off.

Considering he was a rapist, Light noticed that the man rubbed the gel into his skin surprisingly gently. He even massaged him in some places. When he massaged Light's back, it was only then that Light realized how painful it were. His muscles slowly began to relax.

After his back, he started massaging his arms and neck, and when he finished, he started washing his feet. Light felt uncomfortable as the man knelt behind him. L then released some water to re-moisten Light's body and continue washing it.

After that he shampooed his hair, rubbing the foam with his fingers and massaging his skull. When he had finished washing his head, he turned on the water again. Then to Light's astonishment he placed his fingers between his buttocks and began to wash that area for him. Light jumped, "HEY!"

"What is it?"

“Don’t touch me t-there!! It-... It's gross!"

"Don't you worry about it. Everything needs to be washed properly. You certainly don't want some dirt and sand left there..."

Light remained silent, then remembered what was the next thing that remained uncleaned.

'Fuck. No...'

And L, as if hearing his thoughts, grabbed him with a soapy hand. Light removed his hand and L pressed him to the tiles once more. "Did you forget what I told you? These are extra negative points for disobedience, punishment will soon follow."

He put his hand back on Light's cock and started rubbing it, noticing that his thing was getting harder.

Light cursed to himself.

"You need to be washed properly. Your body didn't have water on it for a couple of days," then he added in an even lower voice, "but, I see that you like it..."

"No, I don't like it..."

"Hmmm... Not at all." L said grinning.

"Please, can you stop it now. I think that is clean enough."

"Are you sure...?" L licked his earlobe.

Light shivered against his will.

"If you don't like it, why are you so worked up?"

"I'm not... It's just my body reaction... and, maybe because I didn't done it in a while."

"Hm... I can help you with that."

"No need."

"Well, as you see... you don't have other choice."

Light bit his lip. If he attacked him now, and by any chance he managed to get out, he wouldn't get far anyway. And he doesn't even have his backpack with him, he has literally nothing. He would be doomed to wander the desert again and who knows how long it would take him. It was risky and Light didn't want to go through that again. On the other hand, he didn't even want to go through what he was just going through.

'This will all pass one day... Three more weeks... if Mello told the truth, I can be taken to town in three weeks. I have to endure another three weeks. And, this man is very persistent, bastard!'

L let him go. Light was relieved but not for long. He heard the man squeeze more shower gel, but had no idea what was coming. It was only suddenly that he felt man's fingers between his buttocks again.

"NO!"

"Yes."

"No. No. No!"

The first soapy finger slid inside.

"Fuck!" Light groaned from the unpleasant and weird feeling.

"I will, soon. Be patient, Yagami-kun."

"No... stop! It... It hurts...!"

The finger went deeper and deeper, moving back and forth. It wasn't really that painful, but it was uncomfortable, and of course, shameful.

Light felt humiliated. And angry, because L skillfully started hitting his prostate, which sent waves of arousal through Light's body, which was reflected mostly on his erection. He had a strong desire for stimulation and relief.

'Shit!'

The second finger joined the first. By then, he was already starting to feel more pain. His body was all tense.

After a couple of thrusts, he suddenly felt emptiness in his hole, only to feel full again as L pushed his hard cock into him.

Light screamed. Pain was really sharp. He felt full and stretched. He had an urge to poop, but as L began to move, the pain and urge eased.

This time it felt like he had hit rock bottom. The man raped him in the true sense of the word. Light still couldn't believe he was in such a situation.

It all seemed so unreal to him, as if it wasn't happening to him.

He was angry at his misfortune. On the one hand, he was lucky to have survived, and on the other hand, he experienced terrible things in return. He felt humiliated, exploited, worthless. He didn't know how he would be able to get in front of his girlfriend at all.

He wondered why he deserved something like that. Was he such a bad person that he deserved something like that to happen to him?

He was aware that he was arrogant, a little conceited, but he believed that he was not an evil man. He helped people whenever he could. He respected his friends. He tried to be faithful to his girlfriend.

What did he do to deserve it all??

He just couldn't understand.

The thrusts began to intensify. L pressed him completely to the wall and penetrated him fiercely.

Light couldn't help but moan. His body's reactions spiraled out of control. After a few minutes, his body began to convulse in a pre-orgasmic state. And according to the reactions of the other man he was already cumming deep inside him at that moment.

"Aaaaahhhhh... Yagami-kun, you're soo good."

After hearing those words, L's hand gripped his cock stimulating it, Light came with a loud moan escaping his lips. The man stayed in him for a few more seconds, then pulled out and rinsed them both with clean water.

He took a towel and wiped himself first and then placed the towel on Light's shoulders.

"You can wipe yourself." Now, when it didn't matter anyway he left him do it himself. L went out to the shower and put on his shorts.

Light fell to his knees and began to cry softly. L turned and watched him, saying nothing. He then went to give him clean clothes closer, when he noticed Mello standing next to the wall behind the door in the bathroom with his mouth covered and his eyes wide.

He saw horror in his friend's eyes.

In Mello's mind was repeating question: 'what the hell Lawliet!? What have you done?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, some of you had theories... I'm curious of what you think now. Let me know.


	5. Broken dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we'll take a peek into L’s point of view, and also at Mello's.

Mello didn't understand. He just couldn't. That information couldn't be processed in his mind. 

He refused to accept it.

That was simply not possible.

'Why, L?'

He sat in L's room and nervously waited for the man to return. He wanted an explanation. No, he needed an explanation. And better for L that he give him a good explanation for it, even if he knew those things had no justification.

'Dammit Lawliet what did you do!?' At first when he saw them, he thought that they were just having sex, but then when he saw Light kneeling down and crying, he realized what had actually happened.

After ten long minutes, he heard the door open. The black-haired man went inside, trying to keep the mask of indifference on his face. He closed the door behind him and threw a bundle of keys on the table that fell with a loud bang.

He came closer to the man who was sitting on a chair at the table and stopped in front of him, putting his hands in his pocket, "why did you spy on us?"

Mello snorted and stared angrily. "That's not the worst thing that happened in that bathroom. I mean what the fuck L?! What is wrong with you?!"

L just looked away and walked lazily to the window. "Believe me or not, I don't know. It's just..-"

"You don't even know!?" Mello was beyond furious now.

"One man more or less.. I don't know him anyway, nor he knows me, and one day he will leave this place and we won't even see each other again, so I just wanted to have some fun."

"You wanted to have fun!? L, that is not fun! You know it yourself. Playing with one person's feelings is never fun!"

"I know, Michael, but I... I couldn't control myself. For some reason unknown to me, I had to do it. I missed that."

"You miss that!? You're insane!"

"I know."

"Obviously you don't! That man will surely sue you! Be sure of that. Watari won't help you either when he finds out what you did. He certainly won't want to defend you!"

On L's face frown appeared. He was aware of that. But, either way he couldn't control his urges. And, somehow he didn't care what will happen to him.

"You're insane!" Mello said when L didn't gave him an answer. He got up and started marching around the room. "We're all going to hell because of you! We're screwed!"

"Don't be afraid. I won't take you down with me."

"Oh, yeah?? You think I trust you after this!?" Mello boiled with rage.

L sighed loudly.

"Jezz, L..." Mello shook his head. He tried to calm himself and think rationally. There needs to be reason. Silence was hunging between them for a while then blonde continued, "It is because of B, isn't it..?" He hesitated but asked anyway.

He saw the other man tense at the mention of the other man's name. His ex-boyfriend name.

At that moment, the memories began to return to him and suddenly came to life before his eyes.

"B..."

His biggest and only love.

They were almost six years together.

Now, five months had passed after the sudden break up.

They were happy.

Happy as the two of them knew how to be. There were quarrels of course. There was also violence, almost every day. It would all end in fierce sex with a fight for dominance. They always switched, because they loved each other, at least L hoped B loved him. He surrendered to that man with his body, his heart, and soul.

Everyone joked and asked that how the two dominant types as were they could be together, but they just laughed at that, enjoyng their relationship.

Until one day some another person entered their lives and their relationship. From that day it was different kind of relationship, when they both accepted him.

The deal was a deal. They were supposed to share happiness in three. But still one day B decided to leave. To leave him with that man. The two of them left him and that man stole his love. His first and only love.

L was broken.

He is still broken. But he hides all that pain under a mask. Under the mask of indifference acting as if everything is fine.

He cried that night.

And that was the first and last time. He hasn't shed a tear since. He didn't want to be weak in front of himself and especially not in front of the others.

He kept all that pain inside himself.

B left him.

And he say to him that he didn't love him.

He didn't love him.

L couldn't get over it.

He couldn't accept it.

He didn't want to show it.

And Light...

Light triggered those supressed emotions when he first appeared before his eyes. So enchanting and beautiful. Handsome and appealing. And above all so helpless...

In L he awakened his strong desire for dominance.

He stirred the blood in his veins.

Droving him crazy.

All that sexual frustration and hunger surfaced on that day.

"L?"

Mello's voice brought back the dark-haired man from his memories. "Yes?"

"Is it because of him?"

L just turned his look to the window, not answering. Mello noticed the glimpse of pain on that face for the first time after those five months. For the first time, the walls began to crack and Mello saw the seriousness of the problem.

"Oh, Lawliet..."

"Please don't. Don't mention his name Michael."

"But..."

"No."

Mello knew he had to listen to him. There was no point in arguing. He knew how stubborn L was and that his word was the last.

"Okay. I won't mention him anymore, but think hard about your actions and don't act like some unreasonable teenager. I just wanted to help."

L just looked blankly back at him. His pain and suffering masked pretty well, again.

Then Mello asked another question what bothered him, "and what about Near? He is not enough?"

"He is, but Nate is different."

"Oh... yeah?"

"Yes."

"Then try to control yourself next time, at least because of him."

*

When Mello came to the cage in the morning with a soup in his hands and a warm blanket, Light was shaking. He was wrapped in the blanket Mello had brought him the day before, but he was shivering from the cold.

"Shit! Are you okay? This night was suprisingly colder than usual, I'm so sorry I didn't brought you two or three blankets instead of one."

Light just looked at him and when he noticed the soup in Mello's hand he started to rise to a sitting position.

Mello handed him blanket and then a bowl of hot soup. "This should warm you up. You'll be better off until the sun starts to shine."

"Thank you."

"This is crazy! I can't leave you outside like this to sleep, you'll get sick. When you're done with the soup, I'll go talk to L to get you some room. This is enough!"

At the mention of the man's name, Light turned pale. Mello could see that. He wanted to apologize for the man's behavior, but he knew it will not help his situation and take back what L had done. He decided to keep quiet about it, at least for now, and to help him in other ways, as much as he could.

He left him in silence to eat in peace and when he was done, Light handed him a empty bowl and thanked him.

Mello then immediately went to look for Lawliet. He knew he would surely find him in his office.

When he found himself at the door, he knocked and went inside without waiting.

"Good morning Michael. What brings you here so early in the morning?" L began to speak first.

The younger man spoke angrily, "It was cold tonight."

"And...?"

"And... how you can even ask that? That man was all night outside in the cage freezing, for fucks sake!"

"Ooops..."

"Fuck Lawliet! You're impossible!"

L just kept sipping his morning coffee and staring at the monitor as if it didn't bother him at all. The blond young man crossed his arms, impatiently tapping his foot on the floor.

"What?"

"You need to at least give him a room! He will get sick sleeping outside, or some animal can bite him while he sleeps."

The black-haired man looked at him again, "Michael..."

Mello just stared back at him with murderous look.

"...that man of yours survived alone for a few days in the middle of the desert and you're stressed that something is going to happen to him?"

Mello kept staring.

L rolled his eyes. Knowing how the young man was stubborn.

"L, that man was lucky to survive there at all. You know that!"

Lawliet exhaled sharply and added, "okay then. I'll find him some appropriate room."

"Give me the key. I'll find him a room and move him."

"No. I'll do it. You're going to arrange it."

"Okay... but watch what you do!"

"Okay... okay."

*

Light was totally bored. Living like some animal in a cage was not interesting. He slept most of the time. When Mello brought him food, he eat it. When he brought him water, he would drink it, and everything else was boring and monotonous.

The guards were walking lazily outside most of them hiding in the shade, a little when Light saw someone other than them. Michael was the only one coming to him except L. The others didn't approach the cage. But, Light didn't care, he was glad they didn't. He just wanted to get out of there, and he wondered if maybe he could somehow speed up his way home.

He had plenty of time to think about some good plan, but no ideas came to him. He was annoyed. He didn't know who are these people and how dangerous they are.

This time the evening came surprisingly quickly.

As he was lying on his back and watching the world around and above him, bored of everything, he noticed from the corner of his eye that L was approaching the cage.

His body tensed. Seeing that man was never a good sign.

L approached the cage without saying anything. He unlocked the door, Light noticing he hadn't locked it behind him.

"Get up," L said in a calm voice.

Light obediently stood up.

L picked up the things that were in the cage and grabbed Light by his arm, leading him out of the cage in silence.

The younger man didn't know what's going on. He also started to panic a bit. He didn't dare ask anyway, he knew he would find out soon what awaited him.

They entered one of the gray buildings. As they passed through the hallway, past a few closed doors, to Light it looked like a smaller motel, they entered one of the rooms that was completely separate from the others at the end of the hall.

This time, L locked the door behind them after turning on the light.

They were in a small room with walls painted in light yellow color, with a wooden bed under a small window, and a wooden table with a couple of books on it and a vase with some pink flower and a chair next to it. The bed was setup and looked clean and tidy. The bedding was white with a few orange lines at the ends. To Light's surprise, there was also a half-open door leading to a private bathroom.

Apart from those few things, there was nothing else in the room.

L finally spoke up: "This is your room for now, until we will be able to take you to the town."

Light was surprised. He didn't expect to experience any comfort there, and a promise from the man that he would let him go one day.

The dark-haired man put blankets on a chair and a small bottle of mineral water on the table. "For you, if you fell thirsty..."

Light raised an eyebrow at that and nodded. He didn't know what had happened that suddenly that man gave him a room, and a tidy one no less.

They continued standing in awkward silence.

He began to feel uncomfortable. The man didn't leave. Light assumed a payment would follow.

And, he was right.

The man suddenly came closer to him and pushed him onto the bed. Light fell on the soft bedding and the man quickly straddled him.

'Shit..! Here we go again...'

He turned him on his stomach and started to take off his pants.

Light knew there was no reason to beg the man to stop, so he just gritted his teeth and waited for everything to pass.

He heard a bottle opening, then he soon realized it was the lube.

The man soon entered him and began to penetrate, at first slowly then after a few minutes he began to speed up the pace. He was moaning and groaning loudly, but Light refrained himself from any embarrassing sounds. He squeezed the sheets hard as the man fucked him mercilessly.

His eyes was teary. He was feeling like he was some slut selling his body.

He felt used, and dirty.

When L released his cum deep inside him, he took out his cock and started putting on his pants.

He didn't say a word either.

When he left the room, Light was relieved, but he remained lying on the bed with his face buried in the mattress and quietly began to cry.

He knew he had to get up and wash himself, but he had no will for anything, and what seemed to him the worst thing of all was that he noticed he was hard.

'Fucking hell..!'

No matter how hard was to get up, he hurried and took a cold shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support. ❤ It mean a lot to me!


	6. Overturn

Light had enough.

The man came to his room every day to fuck him. He didn't want to suffer like that anymore. In addition to planning to sue him for rape, Light got another idea he wanted to put into action that day. He was furious and somehow had to vent that anger even though he knew it would mean a lot of 'negative points' for him.

"I don't care anymore! Fuck this shit!" He told himself when he was waiting for L's visit and 'payment' for everything in the evening.

It's been ten days since he ended up there. And, every night the same story. He was fucked and left as some dirty whore to lie alone on the bed.

After all, what else could he expect from the man like him?

On the other hand, he knew that it was better than if the man stayed in his room and mistreated him in some more brutal ways.

This way it was somewhat durable.

He was comforted by the thought that the man would soon be behind bars. That kept him from losing his sanity.

'I will make him pay hard for this! He will rot in the prison. My main goal now is to destroy him at all costs.'

He heard the door unlock.

He knew what awaited him. He was sitting at the table and continued reading the book as if nothing was about to happen. He didn't even bother to look at the man.

L went inside and, of course, locked the door, putting a bundle of keys in his pocket of his blue jeans.

Light was ready.

He laid the book on the table when the man approached him and got up. He noticed that they were the same height as the man straightened up.

"Lie on the bed," L ordered.

"What if I say - no?"

"You know the answer - nothing will change, it will be only worst for you."

When the man grabbed his arm, Light pulled it out of his grip and punched him in the face. The man's cheek cracked under his arm from the pressure of the blow. It was bleeding from inside of his mouth.

L was taken aback by this, for he did not expect it, and flew to the side. Light took the opportunity and knocked him to the ground hitting him once more. This time L earned a bruise under his eye.

"Fuck! What the hell!?!"

Light was about to hit him one more time, but L managed to defend himself. They continued to wrestle on the ground hitting each other.

After a few minutes of fighting, L managed to regain control of the younger man. He tried not to hit him hard, but only to defend himself from the angry and frustrated brunette.

"Yagami-kun, stop!" L held man's hands tightly, waiting for him to calm down. They stared at each other, Light lying on the ground, L holding him from above with his body and hands.

L had a cracked lip from which fresh blood flowed, a big bruise under his eye and a couple of scratches. Hair messy and shirt torn under the sleeve.

Light, however, had no major injuries, as L spared him that. He focused more on stopping him than hurting him.

"Why the hell did you do that? You know what it means...!"

"Yeah, I know. But it was worth it. Watching you in this state, I'm not sorry. You were about to rape me anyway, at least I'm glad I had a chance to break your face." Light grinned contentedly, watching the result.

L narrowed his eyes, furious, not taking his eyes off the man below him. Seeing him in such a state, Light suddenly burst into laughter.

"Hahahahahahah...!"

L's big gray eyes widened. He was confused, but Light's laughter was so contagious that he started laughing too, even though he didn't know why exactly.

"HAHAHAHAHA..."

Light shook with laughter and tears began to roll from the corner of his eyes. At that moment he thought he had gone mad.

It was amusing to L seeing Light laughing and smiling. L did never had that opportunity since he was doing bad things to him. Somehow, it warmed his heart, and at that second he lost control. He leaned over and captured Light's mouths with his own.

Laughter died down at instant.

Light's eyes were huge, from the surprise and the shock. He was frozen in the spot. His mouth were half open, so L had the opportunity to shove his tongue inside his mouth.

The taste of iron began to dominate his mouths as L was stealing a kiss from him. His gentle soft lips moved over his smoothly and almost made him start moving with them and return the kiss. Tongue exploring his cavern eagerly.

But Light didn't allow himself to be seduced with those sinful lips. When he recovered from the shock, he pushed the man away from him. Then he felt his heart tighten. It wanted more.

It was as if L only then realized what he had done. He allowed Light to push him away from him with ease, and watched him in shock for a few moments.

Light realized that the man was as confused as he was, and didn't dare to say anything as well. Then he just stood up abruptly, wiping his bloody and slightly swollen lips with a torn sleeve. Light did the same by wiping his lips with the back of his palm. L took the keys out of his pocket, unlocked the door, went out without saying a word.

In Light's head began to spin slightly. 'What the hell just happened...??' he asked himself as he continued to lie motionless on the ground staring at the white ceiling.

*

L started running when he stepped out of the building.

When he entered his room and slammed the door behind him, his head rumbled and his body trembled. His heart wanted to jump out of his chest.

He leaned against the door and gasped loudly.

"Impossible..."

The event that happened just a few minutes ago was repeated before his eyes. He closed them tightly, squeezing his eyelids as if he wanted to drive the image out of his head.

'No...'

"NO!"

He turned and slammed his fist on the wooden door. The skin on his arm cracked and it began to bleed.

"Dammit!"

The guy was gorgeous, anyone could fall for him. He should have thought about that before he started playing with fire, he knew that. But he didn't care about that at the time or the moments after. It was as if he was digging a hole for himself to trap himself into it.

'What did I do...!?'

It felt good to fuck him, but on the other hand it didn't. It bothered him every day, but he couldn't stop. He deliberately wanted to hurt him, to see him suffer, as if he had thrown a boomerang that should have come back to him at any moment and hit him hard.

And it came back.

Through their first and last kiss.

He slid slowly down to the ground and curled up, hugging his knees and dipping his fingers into his hair, squeezing the strands hard, until he felt the pain.

"Shit!"

Tears began to form in his eyes, but he kept them from falling. He gritted his teeth and laid his head on his knees as his world around him began to crumble again.

He knew that he deserved that.

And even worse.

*

The next day, Light had free from his rapist. L neither came to his room nor Light saw him while he was outside with Mello.

Mello came to him every day and together they went for a walk around the oasis. Sometimes Mello's boyfriend, Matt, joined them just like this time. As he approached them, he shouted, "Hey, you two! You're together again... I'm already getting jealous, you know!"

"Hahah Matty, don't worry..." started Mello with a wide grin on his face, "you know that my heart belongs only to you."

"Yeah... but I wanted to be sure. Who know what his intentions may be." Said Matt with a laugh, looking at Light challengingly.

Mello scrunched his nose. Matt didn't know, yet. Otherwise, he wouldn't make such jokes.

"Sorry, Light. Matt is just... Matt."

Light shifted uncomfortably, but managed to bring a small smile on his face. "It's okay... I have a girlfriend, and I am not into guys anyway..."

Matt's jaw dropped, and Mello started to feel sorry for him again.

"Sorry, Light, but I totally thought that you're into guys!"

"What? Why?"

"I don't know... just a feeling in my gut, I guess." Matt scratched back of his head. "I seem to have misjudged you after all. I usually have an eye for those things. Sorry again."

"Don't worry... everyone can make a mistake... sometimes."

"Yeah... I suppose."

Mello then tried to turn the topic of conversation saying, "otherwise just so you know... we've already confirmed that we're going to town on the twentieth this month. Matt and I are pilots, so you're going to travel with us."

"Really ?? You are pilots too?"

"Yes. In a way, we're colleagues."

"Wow cool." Light was positively surprised and in a way happy that he will travel with them. They both seemed like good guys to him. He only hoped that that bastard, L, would not travel with them. He wanted to ask, but changed his mind, and in the end Mello confirmed to him that L would not travel with them, that most of the times they went alone with two assistants.

"Well, you didn't tell me yourself, but what exactly is your job there other than that... if I may ask?"

"Well... piloting..."

"So, confidential...? I understand, it doesn't matter, I just asked."

"Honestly, Light, it's not up to us to tell you that. Only L could reveal that secret to you if he want to which I doubt..." Matt added.

"Oh... okay..." Light came to terms with that, but still wanted to try to extract another piece of information that he hoped might not be so confidential. "...I want to ask maybe another, more stupid question, but I'm kind of curious in that, why do they call L, L?"

Mello and Matt shared a look. Matt decided to leave Mello to answer that question.

"Well... for the start, that is not his nickname."

Light raised an eyebrow at that and waited for the second part of the answer that soon followed. "That's his name."

"His name? You mean like a middle name or what?"

"No. His first name."

"What?" Light asked dumbfounded. "His name is normally just one letter?"

"Yes. It's weird, but yes... that's correct." Mello knew the story behind it, but he didn't believe it would interest Light much. Or maybe it would? He didn't know and it didn't matter because he didn't plan to tell him, but so he decided to reveal his full name because he guessed why Light asked, "L Lawliet is his full name."

Light's eyes widened slightly. That meant...

L Lawliet...

He had his name, finally. He just hoped Mello didn't make it up. But why would he...? It was easier to extract that information than he imagined it would be, but for some reason he didn't feel completely satisfied.

Mello kept his eyes on him, following Light's every reaction. Matt just smoked his cigarette thoughtfully.

"Well, yeah... It's indeed unusual."


	7. Heartbroken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support so far. I hope you will enjoy the rest of the story as well. :)

Three days had passed and Light was surprised that his rapist had not come to charge him for feeding him there and for giving him a room.

Of course, not because he missed it, it was just - weird.

He had to stop himself a couple of times so as not to ask Mello where their boss is.

Sometimes, he would feel a bit worried because he didn't even see him while they were walking through the oasis, as before.

'Did something happen to him? It must be... I don't believe he would just suddenly stop coming.'

And that day, as they walked around the water, Mello, and he, Light spotted that black-haired head out of the corner of his eye, then turn his gaze in that direction to make sure it was really him. Dressed in a white T-shirt with black shorts, his hair wild as always, he talked about something to the guards.

For some reason, unknown to him, Light's heart jumped at the sight of the man, and he felt relief knowing that he was at least all right.

While Mello and he were standing and talking, L, when he finished talking to the guards, turned and left, not even noticing them.

Light's heart sank.

'Not that I care.' Light reasoned himself, following the man's every step until he disappeared behind the building. 'Maybe he was just busy with something, he will probably come. Not that I want to... but It's logical.'

He shook his head, 'what I am thinking, I'm must be going crazy... this is ridiculous.'

Two more days passed. L didn't come, not once.

Light started to feel a bit anxious.

'I should be happy about that, I mean... I am happy about that...' Light thought as he tried to concentrate on reading the book. He was unbearably bored. He sighed and looked at his watch. Ten o'clock in the evening has already passed, a sign that the man will certainly not come.

Light decided to take a shower.

As the warm water began to fall on his hair and roll down his skin, Light's body began to relax from the tension he had felt for the past few days. He stood without a move, trying to clear his mind, when he remembered his first shower here in the oasis.

He gasped softly, as memories hit him. His cock stiffened and soon he felt eager for relief.

'I haven't done it in a while... I need it...'

It was only natural.

He took his wet thing in his hands and began to stroke it, not turning off the water, letting it flow down massaging him.

"Ahhh..."

No matter how hard he tried not to think about those big dark gray eyes, he didn't succeed. He could almost tell that he missed the man's thrusts.

"Shit... no! Think about something else... stupid brain!"

His lips...

His long skillful fingers...

"Oh... fuck..."

His mouth hung open as he softly moaned.

Semen soon ended up mixed with water, flowing down and disappearing into the drain.

Light remained trembling, with his hands resting on the tiles, water dripping down, trying not to lose his balance. He closed his eyes and squeezed his eyelids as if it could prevent him not to think of the other man.

*

Sometimes they went together for lunch or dinner at the buffet. Mello tried to spend as much time as he could with Light, because he knew the man was bored to hell being locked in the room all day, so he decided to call him to lunch with them that day too.

As they sat at the table and chatted, Light noticed when the dark-haired man came inside, and that he was not alone, but in the company of a white-haired, pale as snow, guy. That caught his attention, especially because he saw them smiling as they talked about something.

He tried hard to suppress his frown, following their every step. He saw only their backs as they stop to order food, L taking his hand out of his pocket and placing it on the young man's waist while standing too close. Light's stomach flip, but he tried to keep his cool as if he hadn't noticed the man coming in at all.

He looked back at his plate to gather his food in the spoon, and when he put it in his mouth, he looked up again at the two men and almost choke on the vegetables, when he saw Lawliet's hand moving lower to cup young man's ass.

Fortunately for him, neither Mello nor Matt noticed his reaction.

A rush of jealousy overwhelmed him. He looked at his plate again, took fork in his hand, and began to stab pieces of meat and vegetables aggressively. That's when Mello noticed something was going on, "Light, are you okay...?"

Light paused and took a deep breath.

"Yeah... It's nothing. I just remembered something."

"Ohhh..."

It took him a while to regain control over his emotions. It looked as an impossible task, because whenever he looked in their direction, he would see them flirting and giggling with each other.

When he was sure that Mello and Matt weren't looking in his direction, he rolled his eyes.

It was irritating even though he knew it shouldn't have been.

'Why do I care!? ...I don't care! I. Fucking. Don't. Care.'

Although he looked mostly normal on the outside, he was seething with rage on the inside. He had a desire to break something or go to them and send them both to hell.

*

It was getting worse every day. Of course, L didn't come to him again. Light assumed he was probably going to his white-haired boyfriend now. He found a new toy and therefore lost interest in him.

And above all, he saw them again.

As three of them walked among the buildings near the water, he saw them sitting on a larger rock, that white-haired man in his lap, his hands all around L, and L whispering something in his ear, and kissing him on the mouth.

Light's heart broke.

He felt the lump in his throat, trembling slightly as the pain in his chest intensified.

He tried to block off those unpleasant feelings.

'Fucking hell! So fucking annoying!' He gritted his teeth. Jealousy consuming him.

Mello and Matt were talking about something enthusiastically and Light didn’t even listen to them.

"Light?"

As Matt failed to get him out of the trance, Mello shouted, "LIGHT?!" and Light jerk, looking at the blonde man, surprised and confused.

"What?"

"Matt asked you if you were coming with us to have dinner too?"

"Oh... yeah, yeah... of course... you don't need to ask." Light forced a grin to mask his annoyance and irritation.

"We are happy to have brought you back to earth, in the last few days, you've been wandering off more and more." Matt added.

"Ah... sorry."

*

L decided to stop, completely.

Ever since he had kissed him, the brown-haired man had not left his mind. L always tried to occupy himself with something else. He tried to work harder, to spend more time with Near, even though he knew deep down that wouldn't be easy.

He saw him a couple of times after, and always noticed that man always glared daggers at him. Although it hurt him a lot, he knew he deserved it.

'Hate me, Yagami-kun. Hate me... I deserve that.'

Aching pain in his chest.

Sleepless nights.

'Damn it... it hurts.'

He opened and closed his eyes as he lay motionless in bed staring at the ceiling. He had no will for anything, only that he wanted to see those honey-colored eyes again.

Those eyes didn't stop haunting him.

Sometimes they were looking at him full of pain. 

And, sometimes full of rage, anger and hatred.

"Oh... Yagami-kun... if things were a little different... but it's all my fault," L spoke into emptiness.

As he lay there in the bed, he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in..." he said and got up to sit on the edge of the bed.

The white-haired young man opened the door and peered inside. "May I?"

"Yes, of course. Come in, Nate." L smiled slightly.

Near walked to the bed and sat next to him. His white oversized shirt rustled as he moved. He only wore boxers from the waist down, L knew what that meant and why the young man came.

No words were needed.

Near cupped his face in his pale soft hands and joined their lips in a kiss. L's heart clenched. He wanted it to be Light, but he returned the kiss anyway.

When he broke the kiss, he spoke, "Nate..."

"What's the matter, L?"

"I think that I can't take it anymore..."

Ever since Beyond left L, Near has been a solace to him. Although he voluntarily agreed to such a relationship, he felt hurt because he nurtured feelings for him.

"It's because of-...?"

"I know I shouldn't... but... yes." He sighed deeply, "This can't be fixed in any way... it's killing me..."

"I know. I completely understand..."

"I don't want to take advantage on you... I've hurt a lot of people with my behavior already."

"L, I don't care... I still do care for you, no matter what."

"Nate, you deserve someone better... you know that."

"I know. But, now it's not time to think about that."

L frowned. Near pulled him close and hugged him, L's head ending on his shoulder. Although L didn't want to and fought against it, his feelings were stronger and tears flowed down his face and soaked Near's sleeve. Nate just squeezed harder, trying to comfort him with his presence. They have already survived a similar storm, they will survive it once again.

"Shhh... everything will be alright. Don't worry... it will pass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are apprecitated as always. Also, if you feel need to, I accept constructive criticism too.


	8. Drunken night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here I am back with a new chapter. Enjoy :)

Light was sitting at the table when he heard the door unlock. It was a little unusual time for Mello to come, so he felt rushing nervousness and his heart stopped a beat as he waited to see who would show up at the door.

Although he knew he shouldn't, he felt a slight disappointment when he saw that it was just Mello and Matt.

"Oi, Light!"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to go for a beer with us? You need to celebrate your home going!"

Yes. There are just two days left. Better said, two nights and one day. They were supposed to leave early in the morning on the twentieth.

Light watched them briefly, a little taken aback by the offer, but asked relatively quickly, "now? Not tomorrow-?"

"We can't drink tomorrow because we leave early in the morning so..."

"Oh, of course... sorry, I forgot at the moment..."

"It's okay," Matt added.

"Well, last chance Light. Or do you want to be bored here all night?"

Light sighed and said, "Okay. Then... let's go."

"Yay! Let's go!" Both young man exclaimed happily.

After all, that didn't sound like a bad idea.

When they arrived at the small bar, which was the only one in their oasis, Light looked around. He saw known and unknown faces of people who lived and worked there as everyone turned to look in their direction.

The bar was dim, the dim lights shone faintly, adding a slightly mysterious atmosphere to the place.

Among all these people, he noticed that the place was crowded, and in one corner he spotted Lawliet sitting and chatting with his albino boyfriend. Or whatever, Light didn't know for sure.

Light frowned at the scene, and as L noticed him, he paused, his face genuinely surprised. The white-haired man, too, looked briefly in his direction. As they passed not far from them they turned to each other and continued talking.

It was infuriating to Light seeing them like that.

The three of them sat down at an empty wooden table, all ordering draft beer.

Light's mood dropped drastically, but he was somewhat nervous.

They toasted, when the waiter brought them a beer, Mello and Matt then discussing their next trip to town, Light only partially listening to them.

He couldn't concentrate completely on what they were saying and also tried not to look too much at the couple that annoyed him. Instead, he mostly looked at his glass of beer, nodding when he thought it was expected of him. He remembered the more important details about the trip, the rest was forgotten.

It looked unbelievable to him that there was so little time left. Since then, L has not spoken a word to him, nor he came to his room, and that has started to bother Light a lot and eat him from the inside.

He hated it.

That shouldn't be happening to him.

And yet, he felt that way.

He knew there was no reason to approach the man, and he knew that man wouldn't do that either. After all, what would be the purpose of that?

Did he really expect from him an apology? 

That is just ridiculous.

The anger mostly passed him, but he knew he had to charge him for what he had done to him. He will be satisfied only when he sees him behind bars.

Light drank beer one after another. When he started drinking the third, his tongue untied a little and he joined in the conversation with the two young men. He talked about his job, where he traveled, what he experienced so far. He even talked a little about his girlfriend.

Slowly, he began to feel dizzy, alcohol began to kick in, but he didn't stop drinking, he liked the feeling of relaxation. All his problems disappearing.

He slowly but surely began to lose control, first over his body and then over his thoughts.

Somehow they reopened the topic of sexuality and Light admitted at one point that he felt an attraction not only to women but also to men.

Matt just exclaimed at that, "I knew it!!!" and he started laughing. Mello was surprised and looked at him with wide eyes, confused.

Then Matt and Light were telling jokes about it and after that Light went to the toilet. Alcohol started kicking in even more and when he came out of the toilet he started staring sullenly at Lawliet and Near again.

As his mind was under the influence of alcohol, Light began to lose track of reality. His emotions prevailed and jealousy took the lead. Somehow he managed to control himself, but after one more beer, he couldn't.

L and Near also noticed that he was completely drunk.

The white-haired young man commented: "Somehow I have a bad feeling about this..."

"You think?"

"Yeah..."

L continued to drink his draft beer, watching the other man.

Then in just a couple of minutes they saw Light get up from his chair again, and this time, instead of heading for the toilets, he was walking straight towards them.

"Oh, crap... it looks that he is really coming here..."

"Just as I said."

Auburn-haired man suddenly stood before them glaring daggers at them, mostly at Near, barely maintaining his balance. But instead of the blow that L expected to come, something unexpected happened.

Light grabbed the white-haired young man by the collar of his light blue shirt, and shook him, hissing in his face. "What the fuck are you doing around him!?"

'Wait... what!?'

Near and L were taken aback by his reaction.

"What are you talking about?"

"Yagami-kun, let him go." L said in a calm tone, ready to intervene the next moment if Light disobeyed.

Light didn't listen, staring even harder at the white-haired young man, he shook him once more.

L grabbed his arm, ready to separate them, "Yagami-kun, you're drunk... you don't know what you're talking about..."

"I'm not drunk!"

Light didn't stop.

"Stay away from him!" Light added.

Near infuriated him even more by adding, "I won't!"

"You... you-!" Light almost end up hitting him, L blocked his fist. It took Light a little, he almost fell to the side, but L kept him in place.

"Yagami-kun! Stop!"

Mello and Matt ran up to them. "What's going on?? Light, what are you doing?!"

"Let me go! Let me go!" Light began to tremble, with anger, rage and jealousy. He really had a strong desire to break another man.

Mello kept him from hitting Near, and L stopped Near from further provocation.

"Near, enough!"

"Enough! What the hell, both of you?!"

"Stay here with Near, I'm going to take Light into the room."

"No, L. I'll go take him, you stay with Near." Mello said, a little worried.

"Don't worry Michael. It'll be all right."

"But, L ..."

"End of discussion!"

Mello pursed his lips and crossed his arms. And Light began to protest too, "no, let me go, I want another beer...! I don't want to go yet..."

But L didn't give up. He grabbed his arm and started pulling him behind him.

"HEY! Let me go!"

Everyone at the bar was just watching them, while L and Light were walking towards the exit. Light still struggling, trying to escape L's grip, "I'm going to tear that albino apart! Let me go!!"

L just sighed when they left the bar.

'What got into you, Light?'

Mello also looked worried and confused after them, not understanding what had actually happened and why Light wanted to vent his anger on Near.

*

When L closed the door behind them, he told Light, placing him in the bed, "lie down and sleep. Enough drinking for today."

"But..." Light continued to protest, collapsing on the bed, he didn't even have the strength to get up.

"No - but, Yagami-kun. You have to lie down, close your eyes, and sleep..."

L took off Light's shoes and jeans, leaving him only in his T-shirt and boxers. When he covered him with a blanket, Light grabbed his arm in pleading voice, "don't go..."

L looked at him in surprise.

"Shhh... sleep now... I have to go."

"No... no! You want to go to him!"

"W-well... yes."

"Don't go."

"What, why?"

"Stay with me..."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Yagami-kun. You're drunk..."

"I'm not drunk!"

"Okay, okay, you're not drunk. But, please, stay lying in the bed and sleep. You need to rest now..."

Light was still squeezing his sleeve, looking at him with pleading puppy eyes.

L didn't understand why was that happening. He fought against the desire to stay with the younger man. But it was so tempting... Light didn't help the situation either.

"Please..."

"Why the hell do you want me to stay?"

"I... I... need you..."

Lawliet's eyes widened even more. Light watched him eagerly, licking his lips and looking at his.

'I must be imagining this... yes, there is no other explanation.'

Light pulled him even closer.

'He must be like this because he's drunk... but still, he shouldn't... it would be more logical if he avoided me.'

He kept his eyes on him.

L pushed him away from him back into the mattress. "That's enough, Yagami-kun!"

"No... no... stay with me... don't go to him."

'Well he is totally drunk. He lost it.'

L was fighting his urges. Light clung to him. He grabbed his shirt once more as L tried to get away from the bed. As L tried to pull himself out of his grip, Light held him so tightly that he fell out of bed onto the floor.

"Auch!"

L rolled his eyes. "Yagami-kun, I told you, you need to rest."

"Noooo..."

As L tried to lift him up, Light pulled him down with him, L ending up above him, their faces just a few inches away.

'Oh... damn, Light, WHY are you doing this to me...??'

Such perfect revenge.

"L... I... I..."

Light needed him. He wanted him.

Under the influence of alcohol, the desire for another man prevailed over his mind, which was completely silenced at that moment.

"Light-kun..."

Light pulled harder and joined their lips in the desired kiss. Although he won't remember it the next day, he needed those man's lips he dreamed about, kissing him at night.

L felt excitement in the younger man that turned him on too, and he couldn't control himself. He dug his long fingers into that silky hair and returned the kiss.

'Let it go all the way to hell...'

L's heart sank with a rush of emotion. The kiss was passionate and sweet, and at the same time it broke his heart into a million pieces because he knew that there was no common future for the two of them.

Oh, how would he like if he could get a second chance. He knew that wish was unrealistic and unattainable.

They kissed only until Light started to feel sleepy. When L felt Light slow down a little, and loosen the grip on his shirt, he lifted him up and put him on the bed. He kissed him on the lips one more time and covered him with a blanket.

And when he turned, he heard Light's low voice behind him again, "stay..."

Although reluctantly, L turned. He took off his pants, remaining in his T-shirt and boxers, and lay down on the bed next to him.

'Just a little, until he falls asleep...' he thought. L didn't plan to stay.

Light hugged him and snuggled his face into L's chest, falling asleep instantly.

L froze. He was still in disbelief from everything that had happened. He hugged him back and buried his face in his hair taking a deep breath, inhaling his scent.

'Oh, God... how can he smells so good.' It was intoxicating.

Light's soft breathing and raising and falling of chest calmed him, and quickly put him to sleep.

Mello came to Light's room, opened the door, and saw, as good as he could from the darkness, that Light was sleeping in peace. He closed the door and locked them, feeling relieved that he hadn't seen L rape him again.


	9. In the morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves, this will be angsty.

Light opened his eyes abruptly when he awoke. Nausea tore him from his sleep, but also the feeling of someone's body next to his and the weight of hand that was resting over his stomach. A severe headache followed, but curiosity took precedence, and he immediately looked to his side.

He saw a black-haired man sleeping next to him. A mixture of emotions suddenly collided in him.

Surprise, confusion, curiosity, disbelief, at some point relief, and even joy.

His heart started pounding fast and for a moment his body ignored the hangover.

When he recovered from the shock and regained control of his body, he removed the man's hand from himself and began to get out of bed. Fast. This woke Lawliet, who opened his eyes lazily, when it hit him.

'SHIT! I fell asleep!'

He froze, staring at the walls, not having the courage to look at the younger man for a moment.

'Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!'

After a few long seconds, he turned his big gray eyes to the brown-haired man, who stared at him, clinging to the chair as he felt a slight dizziness in his head as he abruptly got out of bed.

"Yagami-kun..."

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Sorry, I brought you to the room last night because you were drunk and I accidentally fell asleep..." L said as he was raising his body to a sitting position.

"Accidentally fell asleep?!? How could you accidentally fall asleep, without your pants, on the bed next to me?!"

"I am really sorry... It wasn't on purpose." L turned his gaze to the floor, Light could hear the sincerity in his voice.

Impossible.

"You should be!"

Pain was clearly visible on Light's face when L looked at him.

It squeezed his heart.

"I know... and I am. Really."

Light was quiet, but he started shaking.

L got up from the bed, but didn't dare to come too close to the other man. "What am I supposed to do to make up for what I did to you? Ask, anything... I-... I'll... I'll... give you money too, as much as you ask."

Light's eyes narrowed. "I don't want your dirty money! I don't need the money! What I need now is to go home away from this place, away from you! And I'll only be happy if you end up in jail!"

Those words hurt Lawliet more than he thought it would. He didn't feel such pain even when his ex left him and betrayed him.

"Of course, you're right. It will be the only solution and the only justice for you. I know I deserved it, when you sue me I will not deny. And... it wasn't my intention to redeem myself with money. I meant it as an addition."

The younger man couldn't believe what he had just heard. That the man voluntarily wanted to go to prison, admitting guilt and apologizing.

He shook his head. "Of course I'm right! You're a rapist and you deserve to rot in jail!"

"I know..."

"The hell you know! What you've been thinking when you were doing it...?! Ha!? Ha!! Why did you do it in the first place!?" Light began to pour out his repressed emotions, red in the face from the rage that began to erupt when he remembered it all. "WHY DID YOU DO IT??!"

He asked himself these questions a million times, always coming with the same answer - that a man is simply a monster.

But now, that he saw him and heard him repent, he couldn't understand it. That made him even angrier.

'Why?'

The man was looking completely at the floor now, biting at his lips. He spoke again in broken voice, "all I can say is that... that I am sorry."

"The fuck!? You don't even have an explanation...??? Anything?!"

"No."

"Fuck man! FUCK! This is insane! NO! You're insane!"

"I know."

'I can't tell you the reason...'

Light buried his hands in his hair, then run his palms over his face, frustrated. He could barely control himself. And on the other hand he felt nauseous again, turned around and ran to the toilet. L just looked after him, a little confused, but then he heard vomiting.

'Oh, yes, he was drunk last night.'

He followed him to the bathroom.

Light was leaning over the toilet, the nausea hit him hard. L crouched down beside him and began massaging his back with gentle, circular motions. The younger man wanted to shove him away, but at that moment he didn't have the strength. He was feeling ashamed because the man was looking at him in such a state. He managed to push him only gently, but L stayed next to him, holding him so he wouldn't fall, as Light lost his balance at that moment.

L stayed with him in the bathroom, until Light felt a little better. When the nausea subside, Light rinsed the toilet, washed his mouth and face with fresh water.

Lawliet was fully clothed when they exited the bathroom, so he headed straight for the door. When he reached them, he turned to the younger man. Once again he wanted to apologize to him, "Yagami-kun, no matter how insane and unrealistic it looks, I want to say again that I'm sorry I hurt you so much."

"You are sorry... now!? When it can't be fixed?? Why weren't you feel sorry when you was about to do it?!" Watching the other man with such a sad and gloomy face, Light couldn't understand.

'I knew it was wrong from the very start... but, I didn't care then... and, now, when these feelings awoke in me, I realized what a mistake I had made. I was acting like an asshole.'

L said nothing. He knew those words wouldn't make sense to the man. Light would just make fun of him for it. He bit his tongue and touched the doorknob, turning his back to the younger man.

Light waited for an answer, and since he didn’t get it, he added, "I hate you."

L tensed. His heart clenched and finally shattered into the pieces. He bit his bottom lip, his hands shaky, but he managed to respond, "I'm glad." Then he finally opened the door, went out into the hallway, and locked them behind him.

He didn't have the strength to move away from the door. Tears began to form in his eyes. The pain was unbearable.

'I screwed up! I totally screwed up... Jesus!'

He was trembling. His whole body and mind numb.

'It's over... It is over!'

L wanted to scream. To rip his hair from his head. Slowly he was moving towards the exit of the building, his heart aching.

He didn't go to his room, instead he went straight towards the desert.

With shoulders and his head bowed, he walked slowly. Hands in his pockets. The guards didn't say a word, watching him quietly.

*

There was silence in the room. Light trembled, his heart felt like it wanted to jump out of his chest, and in his head began to spin again.

Suddenly he began to breathe heavily.

It was too much, he couldn't take it anymore. His legs betrayed him and he soon found himself on his knees. Tears began to flow down his face, like summer rain.

"Aaaaaaaaa...! Damn it! DAMN IT AAAALLL!!!"

He started crying out loud. He couldn't hold it inside himself anymore.

He lay on the ground and curled up in a fetal position.

"I hate you! I hate you!... I hate you...!"

'I want to hate you.'

But...

'I can't...'

'Why I can't hate you...?'

'This is insane...'

As he cried like that, broken, defeated on the floor, he heard someone unlocking the door. He froze, and didn't dare to move.

"Light! What happened ???"

Mello ran up to him as soon as he noticed him. "Are you OK?" He was visibly worried. It crossed his mind that perhaps Lawliet had raped him again, but he saw no signs of it when he looked around. 'No, I have to trust him this time... this is something else.'

"Tell me, what happened...?"

Light felt ashamed because the young man came while he was in such a state. He had his eyes and face partially covered with his arm, "nothing... nothing happened. I want to be alone."

"Light... I know something's wrong, otherwise I wouldn't have found you on the floor in this condition." Mello crossed his arms without taking his eyes off the brown-haired man, expecting an answer.

"You're maybe right. But, I can't tell you anyway, it's personal."

The blond young man decided to risk it, so he asked: "did someone hurt you?"

"Why do you think someone hurt me?"

"And why not? I mean, you couldn't get any information from outside so there's no other reason why you should be crying here on the floor."

Light started to get annoyed. Why did he act so pathetic and why did Mello need to came in such inappropriate moment. No one was supposed to see him like that.

He wiped his face with his sleeve and began to rise to a sitting position, his back turned to the young man.

"Maybe I was just nostalgic and found that is pretty comfortable lying on the floor...?"

"Funny, indeed."

"Well, there isn't another explanation. Sorry."

"Right." Mello realized that Light didn't want to confide in him. He hoped he might want to when they got to town. He still planned to talk to him about it.

At that moment, Light remembered that they had been at the bar together last night and were drinking. For a moment he began to panic because he wasn't sure how much he discovered about himself while he was drunk. And whether he said anything about what that guy had done to him.

'How much of information escaped me yesterday? I don't remember what happened until the end and how I really ended up in this room... L said he brought me here... and he was sleeping with me in bed... what the hell happened last night? I don't feel pain in my ass, so that means we didn't do anything when we were alone in the room... maybe Mello was with us or Matt...'

"So you don't want to tell me what happened?"

"I'm telling you, nothing happened... I was drunk yesterday and today my head and stomach hurt. I overdid it."

Mello sighed dramatically, "okay then. Do you want to skip breakfast or do you want me to bring you at least something to eat?"

"Get me some bread for now... thanks."

"Okay... I'm going. Watch what you're doing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support you have given me so far, it means a lot to me. ❤


	10. The last day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst continues...

L was laying in the sand, on his back with his arms outstretched to his sides. The sun shone on him from above stronger and stronger, but he didn't care much about it.

He had his big gray eyes turned to the wide blueness above him. He breathed deeply and evenly, while his heart was beating hard.

His tears dried up a while ago, his throat dry and sore from shouting into the void.

He poured out his anger, sadness, grief out of himself there in the emptiness of the desert, without a living soul, where his witnesses were only billions of grains of sand and one big sun. He was alone again in the desert he loved so much.

Then in the split of the second, he felt that energy. That overwhelming, soothing pull.

But, suddenly it disappeared.

He wanted to disappear with it too.

Nobody needed him anyway.

The boys were secured in case something happens to him. They will not be alone, they have Watari and have each other.

He was just trouble for everyone. Someone, without whom it was possible to live.

Someone like him deserves it.

To just disappear.

He shut his eyes tightly.

L remembered again and again what he had done to that young man. How he marked him for the rest of his life.

He was at the same time turned on by it and disgusted.

Light was just a man struggling to survive with the misfortune to encounter him - a wounded beast eager for revenge.

Revenge against himself.

L became aware of that, not only did he destroy his life, but also the life of the other man.

'He hates me... of course he hates me... that’s the least I deserved...'

Then he remembered last night how Light had begged him to stay by his side and how passionately he was kissing him, with that cute and innocent look on his face.

And that smile... a smile when he returned him kiss and decided to stay. That was the first time that he ever saw that man smiling.

And the last.

'Oh... God!'

L sighed, and opened his eyes.

'I ruined the life of the most beautiful and dearest man I have ever met...'

Fuck.

It hurts.

He felt as if a part of his soul had died with it.

'I lost him... I lost him even though I never really had him...'

He closed his eyes again, crushed by the pain.

If I disappear...

I do not care.

*

"L?!"

"L!!!"

"L!!!!!!"

Mello shouted at him, but the man didn't move when they saw him from a distance.

"Are you sure that it's really him?!"

"Yes... who else it would be?"

"Well, who knows who wandered in the desert again..."

"Pfff... it would be such a coincidence now when L's gone, and, and... in the same direction...!?"

"I don't know, Matt, I don't know... hurry up, I hope we are not too late!"

They ran to him panting, both frightened. Mello started shaking him, "L!"

"Lawliet!"

"Wake up!"

"L!!!"

They didn't check the pulse first, but, the black-haired man woke up when he heard them calling and felt Mello shaking him. His skin was mildly burned by sun, and he felt dizzy.

"What...?? What happened?"

For a moment he didn't know what had happened and where they were and why Mello and Matt were shouting in panic.

"You're okay! You bastard! You're okay!" Mello hugged him as L rose to a sitting position, tears of joy on his face shining.

"Yes... It looks like that I'm okay."

'More or less...'

"Idiot, why were you lying there in the middle of the desert ?!"

"Oh, well..."

What to tell them...? He didn't really plan to wake up again.

"Well... I'm waiting..."

Matt then added, "let's get out of here... the sun will burn us all. On the way, Lawliet will tell us..."

They both lifted him to his feet and moved slowly back to the oasis. Mello was curious, so he bombarded Lawliet with questions: "So...? What happened?"

"Nothing special..."

"How can you say - nothing special?? Obviously something happened and very important!"

"I'll tell you when we get inside, I need a glass of water now..."

"Oh! Come on!!!"

L was silent the whole time they were walking to the oasis, but Mello didn't give up. After L drink a glass of water in his room, he stared at him impatiently tapping his foot on the floor with his arms crossed.

"What?"

"Don't you say 'what' to me!"

"He is still waiting for your answer..." Matt was also curious.

At that moment, Near entered the room, with a worried expression. "You're all right!!!" He exclaimed and ran to him and hugged him tightly.

"Yes I'm fine." L returned the hug.

"The guards told me you went to the desert and didn't come back... we almost died of worry..."

'So the guards warned them... I should have gone deeper into the desert,' but at the same time he felt sorry for worrying them anyway, so he apologized, "I'm really sorry..."

"It's fine. What's more important is that you're okay."

"But he won't tell us yet what happened. Why was he in the dessert...!" Mello started to whine. He was dying from curiosity.

"I'll tell you if they leave us on private."

"YESSS!"

Mello almost jumped to the floor. He was happy that he was chosen, and that L will tell him his reason. His eyes sparkled with joy.

Matt and Near reluctantly left the room. When they closed the door, Mello came closer to L and sat down next to him on the bed.

"So... tell me finally, what happened?" this time the blond young man asked in a more serious tone.

"Nothing... just a depression."

Mello raised an eyebrow at that. "Is it because of remorse that you did 'it'? Did it come to you now?"

"Probably." L replied nonchalantly, as if it were nothing. He had difficulty trusting other people. He was not close enough to anyone to confide his deepest secrets. Mello may have been his best friend, but he didn't tell him everything either.

The young man sighed, "then it must've hit hard both of you..."

L frowned, "the two of us...? Who do you mean?"

"Yagami-KUN..."

L raised his eyebrows.

"I found Light in a similar condition this morning."

Concern could be read on L's face, "what?? Did something happen to him?"

"I don't know. He didn't tell me. He didn't want to say the reason... somehow I think it has something to do with you."

"Oh... but, why with me?"

"Right to tell you... I've been thinking all night about what happened last night. How aggressive he was toward Near..."

L just stared at him blankly, waiting for the young man to continue.

"And all I can tell is that it smelled of jealousy."

L's eyes widened. He was visibly confused.

"What?"

"As you heard."

"Why would he be jealous?? He has no reason to be jealous at all..."

"That looked weird to me too, but who knows... maybe he started to be attached to you."

"Got attached... to - to me? That's nonsense..." L shook his head.

"Well, who knows..."

"I know."

"How do you know?"

"He said that he hate me."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes."

"When he told you that?"

"Today, when I apologized to him."

"Ohhh... so you finally apologized?"

"Yeah, so your theory is inaccurate."

"But..."

"What you said wouldn't make sense at all. I deserve his hatred and his contempt."

"So that's why it touched you so much?" Mello smirked at that.

L looked at him dumbfounded again. He blinked few times acting innocent.

"Don't act so naive, Lawliet..." Mello was grinning at him as he noticed redness appear on L's face, it was subtle, but it didn't escape his eye. "You like him, don't you?"

L's face flushed even more. He couldn't look his friend in the eye.

"Yes. You do..."

"Don't you dare to tell anyone about this, Michael!"

"Hahah... fine, fine. Your secret is safe with me."

*

Finally, that last day had passed. Light was laying in the bed, ready to sleep. He had all his things packed in his backpack. His clothes, in which he came, were clean, arranged on a chair and ready so that he could change in the morning and get ready to travel home.

He was lying in a dim room, a small amount of light coming from outside the night lamp.

But he couldn't fall asleep.

Minutes and hours passed.

He rolled over in bed, but sleep didn't come to him.

He started to get annoyed.

He turned to the one side... then to the other, and, nothing.

He opened and closed his eyes again. A black-haired man always coming to his mind, and that didn't give him peace. Then at some moment, a fragment of his memory flew under his closed eyelids and Light opened his eyes wide in disbelief.

The kiss...

He gasped, questions invading his thoughts, 'was it real...? Oh, God, I hope it was only a dream. Yes... I must've fallen asleep for a sec... that can't be real.'

Fragments of memories slowly came to life before his eyes. He remembered how passionately he was kissing that man, longing for his lips and touches.

'Oh my God...'

He knew, he still wanted him.

The whole situation would be simpler if the man wasn't so attractive and hot. He was right his type. Light was annoyed by that fact the most.

He turned on his stomach and buried his head in the pillow. "No. No. No. No!" He didn't want to accept it.

Struggling with those memories and fighting his feelings, he fell asleep.

*

Getting up at half past four in the morning was not easy after restless sleep. Light hardly woke up, rubbing his eyes and forcibly getting out of bed. Oh, how he wish he could lie back and keep sleeping. The warm bed sheets called to him back.

He sat on the edge of the bed with his hands resting on his knees and his head buried in his palms. The desire to give up traveling and stay sleeping was strong, but he knew he had to go.

He sighed deeply and went to the bathroom to get ready.

Dressed and refreshed, he arrived at the agreed place. Mello and Matt were already waiting for him, each smoking a cigarette, leaning against a stone not far from the plane, while their assistants were doing the final preparations and checks.

"Good morning, Light. Did you get a good night's sleep?" Although Mello doubted it, he was curious what answer he would get.

"More or less, but not much. And you?"

"We also... we always have a problem with getting up when we need to travel, but we're used to it. There is no other choice."

"One day a month is still bearable."

"Yeah..."

When they finished their cigarettes, they started getting on the plane.

Light was a little nervous when he was about to get into the plane. He had little trauma left from the last ride and was also starting to get anxious about his return home.

He turned to look around for the last time, secretly hoping to spot a dark-haired man somewhere. He was disappointed that he was not there, because he hoped that the man would at least come to see them off. Since he was their boss, he hoped it was his duty.

When he turned to look behind him, for the last time, he saw him standing in the distance, with his hands in his pockets, dressed in a white T-shirt and jeans, staring at them motionless.

His heart clenched and stopped a beat. He felt a short shiver run through his body like a mild electric shock.

Again he felt a strong urge to stay.

To ran to him.

After those few short seconds, he turned back and boarded the plane. Everything in him screamed not to go, to turn around and go back.

But the decision was made. He has to go home and forget everything.

He was sure everything would pass in time.

Mello and Matt were getting the plane ready to move when they all got inside. Light and the two other assistants sat in the back.

The brown-haired man tried to calm down. To calm his wild heart that wanted to jump out of his chest. He was so anxious that he began to feel nauseous. He breathed deeply and tried not to think about anything.

"Are you okay, Light?" Mello asked him before they launched the plane.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Light called out his answer.

Matt raised his thumb high with a smile on his face and they set off. Light felt them rise into the air. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply, clenching his fists.

'I have to endure it. It will be over soon.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are apprecitated as always ❤


	11. Back into reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we will discover what L and his team are doing, and why they are in a desert oasis.

L watched the plane as they took off. Grief permeated him, but he promised himself that he had to endure, somehow.

He knew he had to ease the pain.

To mask emotions again.

To act as if nothing had happened, and to move on with his life.

Although he felt dead inside.

But there was no other choice for him.

He knew that when night occupies the sky, the mask will fall crushing, and a river of tears would flow, but he will take care of it later, when the time comes.

Now he has to endure it all stoically.

Near was waiting for him in the shade, watching. Mello and Matt ordered him to guard him, and to not take his eyes off him. And the guards were ordered to guard him too, strictly, because Mello assumed that L would try to do something again and endanger his own life in some way.

"Let's go L." Near said as L approached him. "Do you want us to work on the next project, or do you have other plans...?"

"I have different plans, I'm not in the mood to work at the moment."

"Okay..."

They entered the building in silence. Near followed the black-haired man until they reached his room. When L closed the door behind them, he buried his hand in the younger man's white hair, pulled him close and pressed their lips into a passionate kiss.

Their lips and tongues moved smoothly over each other mouth, only moans and the damp sounds of kisses could be heard in the room.

L couldn't resist but to imagine that he is kissing a brown-eyed man. He bucked his hips forward, and felt the hardness of the other, that excited him even more.

He pinned Near against the wall, kissing him aggressively, slowly shortening his breath. Then he abruptly moved his lips to his neck, kissing him feverishly, attacking his pale skin, sucking and leaving marks and light bites.

Near was surprised by the treatment, not protesting. He noticed a change in the other man, but didn't dare to ask him about it. He assumed it had something to do with an auburn-haired man who had left the oasis just moments ago.

He knew L was taking him by force. He witnessed this when L did it for the first time in a cage. But, he didn't say anything to anyone, even though he was burning with jealousy. He secretly hoped that the man would really leave, with emotions of pure hatred for L, and that L would only be his, again. 

And that was exactly what happened. That day has finally come.

But Near didn't hope for such quick sex and such desire. This pleasantly surprised him.

Soon he felt L's arm around his throat and his eyes widened in shock. Lawliet watched him, not saying a word as he tightened his grip around his throat. 'Oh my God... he will kill me if he continues like this... no...'

L pressed his body against the wall harder. He focused on his lips as he licked his own. Then he started kissing him again as he squeezed his arm around his neck.

'L...' Near was unable to say anything.

With his other arm L palmed his erection and started to rub it urgently. Near moaned even louder eager for his thrusts inside his hole, and on the other side fearing for his own life.

L bit his lips, releasing jets of blood smearing between their swollen lips.

Suddenly, the hand on Near's throat relented and L removed it and turned him with his face against the wall. He abruptly took off his shorts, then his own jeans and underpants. He spat into his palm to prepare Near's hole at least a little, as he urgently needed to sink his member into his warmth.

"AAAAHHHH!!!"

Near groaned and screamed at the intensity with which L entered him. L didn't wait for Near to get used to the feeling, but he started to fuck him mercilessly, pressing him against the wall with all his force. Even then, the younger man didn't protest, deciding to suffer that mixture of pain and pleasure.

On the other hand, L's heart ached and wished that it was Light the one who moans from the pleasure from his thrusts. He closed his eyes again, grabbing Near's white strands of hair with one hand and pushing him against the wall with the other.

"Oh, fuck!"

'Light...'

L came with a loud groan, as he dropped his seed deep into Near's abused hole. Both were panting, L released younger boy and shoved his tired body onto the mattress.

When he cleaned himself of semen, Near lay silently next to him. After a few minutes, he heard L's steady breathing, sure sign that he fell asleep.

*

They arrived in the city in exactly four hours and thirty-five minutes. Light stared at his watch almost all the time and counted the minutes. The signal on his phone appeared as they approached the city.

'Strange...' he thought. For the first time since he was in the oasis, he asked himself how L, Mello and the others communicated with the rest of the world.

A list of missed calls and text messages soon appeared on his screen.

'Oh... God.'

Poor them.

Kyiomi, his colleagues, his parents, friends...

Light felt anxiety creeping under his skin. He told himself that he will read the messages later. He hasn't planned to call anyone yet. He decided to go first to his employer and then to the apartment where he and Kyiomi were living, wondering if she stayed there or returned to Japan.

'Welcome world...'

"We arrived successfully!" Mello joyfully declared when they landed.

Their workers started unloading the plane when they exited. Mello, Matt were smoking cigarettes and Light was standing next to them, while their assistants were doing their job. Light finally decided to ask what was in those big wooden boxes.

"Do you really wanna know?" Matt asked, letting the smoke from his cigarette into the air above him, directing his gaze from Light to Mello, expecting approval.

Light just nodded, looking now from the one then at the other young man.

Mello nodded and replied, wanting to be the one to reveal the secret to Light, "well, since you didn't figure it out for yourself, when I told you L's full name, then it means you haven't heard of him. It's relatively safe to tell you now what we do..."

Light waited impatiently for Mello to continue. He was curious, although he himself didn't know to what extent until this moment.

"We are the makers of special weapons, the best and only kind in the world."

Light blinked a couple of times, as if he didn't understand what Mello was saying. Perhaps he didn't expect such an answer? But, what did he expect, them to be some criminals?

"Lawliet corporation...? Nothing...?" Mello added asking, raising his eyebrows.

'Oh... yes, Lawliet corporations... - wha- ??'

At that moment, Light remembered why L's name had always been somehow familiar to him. 'Lawliet corporations, most powerful and best weapon makers in the world.'

For some reason Light blushed slightly, shaking his head, he decided to act like he didn't hear of them. That way it will be easier. "Eh... sorry I didn't know..."

"It's okay, not everyone heard of us, we're aware of that fact..." Mello smiled slightly.

"So you make all the weapons out there in the oasis?"

"Yes, although it may not look like that, and since we only make it in limited quantities and to selected clients, that place is spacious enough for us. And it's inconspicuous and hard to find."

"Oh... uh... yeah."

"But don't worry, we're not bad guys, we don't make weapons for wars and the like. We choose, better to say, L choose clients, and he only makes weapons for those who want to use it, um... how to say... 'for good things'?"

"Well I didn't acussed you or anything..." Light laughed a little.

"Yeah, I know, I just wanted to explain a little."

"That's okay... so, now I know, I guess."

"Mhm."

"But, one thing that bothered me more was that - how do you communicate from that place with other people?"

"Oh... that..." young man chuckled a little, then took a drag from his cigarette, exhaling puff of smoke into the air above him, "through the satellite."

Light looked dumbfounded for a while, then he straightened more and cleared his throat, "through the satellite? Oh, of course."

'Well, what else could it be...? Not that they didn't communicate at all with outer world, dummy.' He scolded himself internally.

"Yes. L has his own satellite." Mello stated this as if it were a normal thing. "That's the way we communicate. Through the satellite signal we can make calls and have internet access."

'He has his own satellite... just like that? Bastard is obviously dirty rich.' Light felt irritated by it.

"Then how come I didn't have any signal on my cell phone?"

"Well... for several reasons. First of all - the security system. You were a newcomer, so..."

"Oh, of course... security."

"And we had no reason to give you permission to use the phone or the internet. That could reveal our location. Not that we're completely invisible, but only few people know where is our location."

"I understand."

"Well, you deserve some answers, at least that much..."

"Well, I'm grateful that you brought me here to town, and that you accepted me into your oasis and saved me from certain death." Light didn't know that Mello knew what he had suffered in the meantime, but he wanted to thank him, because all in all, Mello was the one who took care of him all the time, bringing him food and water. Now he understood why he had to be locked in the room, even though he assumed they had a good reason for it from the beginning.

"You're welcome. It was a pleasure to help you... I hope Matty and I made a new friend...?"

'A friend...?'

Light was surprised by that. He didn't hope that Mello and Matt would want to have him as a friend or continue to communicate with him.

"Oh... yes, of course." Light smiled a little nervously.

"Well, good! Boxes are moved to safe place." Mello looked at his watch, "we still have about an hour before the customers come, so we can go get something to eat. Everything is under control, the guards are in their places."

The weapons were transferred to a hangar which they locked. There was a small restaurant in the airport area where they stopped by to eat. Light promised them that he would stay with them for lunch and that he would part with them later.

They sat down at a table, ordered food and drink and started chatting. Mello tried a little to 'ease' the situation, as he was preparing to ask Light a long-awaited and delayed question. When he got the perfect opportunity, he started, "Light...?"

"Yes?"

"Is there anything you wanted to tell me, something that bothers you, maybe..?"

"No... I don't think so, why?"

"Light. I know." Mello watched him intently, this time Matt already knew about it, so he just listened carefully.

"Know, what?" Light was still trying to pretend that he didn't know what Mello was talking about.

"I saw it... you can't deny it, Light. I want to help if I can. He is my best friend, almost like brother, but he abused you, and I can't forgive him just like that."

Light was taken aback by that.

It was the first time that someone spoke openly about it and called what happened to him by its real name. Although Light was aware of what had happened, he now felt a rush of emotion again and his hands began to tremble slightly. He looked away, avoiding the young man's gaze. He shifted nervously in his chair. He was suppressing it for a long time and tried to hide it, thinking that no one knew about it. All that vulnerability lasted only a few seconds, then Light put a mask on his face again, which successfully hid his deepest emotions, desires and fears.

"You... knew?"

"Yes. Sorry I wasn't able to help, I only came across it when it was all over..."

"Oh..."

But what Mello didn’t know was that L continued to rape Light a few days after that.

Light looked embarrassed at his plate, his emotions prevailed again. He didn't know what to say at the time, but as Mello was silent, he began to speak in a slightly more confident voice, "don't tell anyone about it. That is now over." He didn't want more people to know about his shame, and how he was weak and humiliated, "I plan to forget that, and not remember that anymore, preferably as soon as possible."

Mello nodded.

Light sighed deeply, clenching his fists, and looked at both young men resolutely, "... And, of course, I plan to sue him. I'm not going to give up until he's behind bars!"

"Of course. I said my part. No matter how good friend is L to me, I will support justice."

"Thank, you."

"You're welcome. You can count on us. When you decide to sue him, just contact me, it will be easier for you. I'll say that I was a witness... which I sadly was."

"All right."

"Here is my number." Mello wrote his number on a piece of paper and gave it to Light. "You can call me anytime, I'll always find time to talk. Don't hesitate to contact me if needed."

"Thanks..." Light took the piece of paper between his fingers and looked at it.

"Good. Then we have this settled, I still have to give you money for a taxi so you can go back to the apartment where you stayed and do the necessary things." The blond young man gave him an envelope with money that looked quite full and Light refused to accept it.

"You said money for a taxi, there's money here for a taxi ride throughout the whole year, maybe more..."

"Don't worry about it, it's okay. Take it."

Light only reluctantly took the envelope in his hand and thanked him.

Then an old gray-haired gentleman, dressed all in a black, approached their table.

Mello and Matt looked at him in surprise, "Watari?!"

Light didn't know the man, so he just looked at them questioningly.

"Yes. I wish to you all good afternoon." Older man greeted them, then continued, addressing Light, "this is I suppose 'that' young man...?"

"Yes, he is." Mello replied instead of Light, who was confused.

The man, who introduced himself as Watari, kept his eyes on Light, saying, "I'm sorry what happened to you in the oasis. I know our apologies won't fix it, but we'll try to do what we can to alleviate that unfortunate event."

'So this man knows too, dammit...'

"Thank you." Light answered simply.

"I thought I raised my boy well, but obviously I was wrong."

"It's not your fault, Watari." Mello spoke up, "everyone is responsible for their mistakes and L is an adult."

"You may be right, Michael, but I still don't feel less guilty."

"Mello is right, sir. Everyone is responsible for their mistakes. I believe you raised your son well." Light added.

Watari smiled warmly, "L is not my born son, but I feel like he is."

Light looked confused.

The blonde explained, "L is an orphan. Watari adopted him, as he did us..."

"Oh... I didn't know that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, young man."

"Watari, does that mean you're coming back with us?" Matt asked, changing the subject of the conversation, because they soon had to go to deliver weapons.

"Yes, I am going back with you. I'll have to teach L a lesson. When I heard what happened I almost immediately flew there. But, I had to calm down and wait for your flight to town. By the way, we have only a few more minutes, we better get going."

"Yeah..."

"Let's go."


	12. I'm coming home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this short chapter, we will see Light's journey and return home.

They parted their ways, and Light for some odd reason suddenly felt lonely. He took a taxi to drive himself to the city where his workplace was. His employees and colleagues were happy and surprised when they saw that he was alive and well.

When he had finished what he had there, he went to the apartment where he and his girlfriend were staying. When he got there, he found other people there who had rented that apartment. He immediately contacted the owner and learned that his girlfriend had returned to Japan.

Light was not in the mood for the traveling back to Japan, but he had no other choice. His boss gave him a couple of days off, so he decided to use them by visiting his family. He had nothing to do alone in that city anyway, so he immediately got to the airport to catch a flight.

While waiting at the airport, he read text messages that one after the other contained questions about where he was and why he was not coming. That he is late. Then that they search for him. After about a week, they stopped sending him messages and tried to call him a few more times. His father, Kiyomi, his mother, Sayu... He took a deep breath and looked at his watch. The next few hours until he gets home. Light decided not to call anyone. He wanted to surprise them.

Did they really think he didn't survive...? Probably. It is certain that they have already written him off, maybe they even made his funeral. Light frowned at the thought and shook his head.

After all, a whole month has passed...

All in all, he hoped that they will be really happy when they see him again and found out that he was alive and well. He could hardly wait to see his parents and his sister.

And to hug them. He really missed them. He has already started thinking about staying in Japan and not returning to Africa.

His journey home was long and arduous because he didn't have a direct flight to Japan. He slept in the plane, he was too exhausted.

It was not until the next day that Light arrived in his hometown in the late afternoon. Emotions overwhelmed him and warm tears flowed down his face when he saw that familiar place.

Light made no effort to wipe them immediately, he left them fall to the ground. He stood motionless in the middle of the street in front of the airport while he looked around. His heart clenched with a mixture of emotions. He had a strong desire to curl up in his bed, in his parents' house where he grew up, and just to cry. As this was impossible, he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, clenched his fists, moving forward.

He used public transportation. First he went to visit his parents, their house was closer.

He knew that at least his mother and Sayu should be home. His father, Light assumed will return later or if he was lucky enough he would find them all together.

When he saw the house, in which he grew up, he stopped, and watched for a few seconds from the distance. He breathed deeply and continued to go forward fighting his urge to cry like small child again. He didn't want to be emotional in front of everyone. He may allow himself to shed a few tears when he sees them, but that should be later.

He headed for the door. They were not locked. He crossed the outer gate, closed it, and headed for the front door of the house. He rang the bell and waited. It seemed like an eternity until he heard someone open it.

The door opened, and he saw his sister shock when she noticed that it's him.

"Light...?!"

Light smiled.

"LIGHT!!!"

She covered her mouth with her palms, her eyes wide open, and stood for a few moments as if petrified.

"Oh my! Light! You're okay!! You're here! I knew you will appear one day...! I knew it!"

"Sayu..." Light gave her a small smile and took her in his arms. His sister literally threw herself into his embrace and started crying. At that moment, Light's mother came out into the hall. Her knees began to tremble when she saw the scene between their doors.

"Son...! Light!" She spoke in a low voice and walked slowly toward them. Tears of joy began to form in her eyes.

"Mother..." Light smiled at her too, even though tears began to roll down his face. "I'm finally home..."

"Yes, you are... I hoped you will come..."

All three hugged at the door. Soichiro also heard that someone came so he went to see. Shocked, he stood and watched everyone hug. He couldn't believe what he saw. He was almost certain he had lost his son. He didn't want to hold false hopes that Light was alive as his daughter and wife thought. He was a rational man and didn't believe much in miracles, but he had just witnessed one, and that touched him to the depths of his being.

He was happy. Happy as never before. Learning that his only one son, his pride and happiness is finally home and alive.

*

Light was with his family until late at night, then explained to them that he wanted to surprise his girlfriend as well and that he will head home. The reunion with his family was emotional, they still wanted to keep him longer, but he promised them that he will visit them again tomorrow. He was very tired and sleepless and wanted to finally lie down and finally rest. Fortunately, his father offered to take him to his apartment and thus speed up his way home.

When the Yagamis finally parted, Light took a bundle of keys from his pocket and searched for the key to the apartment door. He chipped open the front door and headed for the elevator. When he drove to the tenth floor, he came out and the hallway automatically lit up.

'Almost there...'

Light took a deep breath, somehow a little nervous. He hadn't seen his girlfriend in a long time and his emotions were completely mixed. He comforted himself that everything will be fine when he sees her again.

'Soon everything will be back to normal...'

He pushed the key into the lock and turned it. He felt a relief. He was tense even though he didn't know why.

Anticipation.

Nervousness.

'How will I look her in the eye after all what happened...?'

Suddenly he felt dirty again, and he started to feel guilty as if it was his fault because of the things that happened to him.

But...

Deep down, he knew why he felt that way.

He was felling guilty because of those new feelings which arose in him.

He pushed his worries aside and entered the apartment and closed the door behind him, quietly. The hallway was dim, light coming from the living room. He assumed that his girlfriend was reading, having late dinner or watching television.

He put his backpack to the side on the floor and when he started to take off his shoes, he noticed strange men's shoes next to the shoe cabinet.

Light stared at a pair of shoes briefly and then looked confused toward the entrance to the living room. 'Kyiomi has a visit... this late? Probably her brother came.'

He left his shoes, jacket and backpack behind. When he entered the dining room connected to the living room, he smelled a faint smell of something cooked but the table was tidy. It really smelled great, Light noticed that he was hungry again, even though he ate well at his parents house. He missed Japanese cuisine.

What was really strange to him was that no one was in the living room, there was only some action movie on TV that no one was watching.

He went to check both the kitchen and the bathroom, but found no one anywhere. Then he finally made his way to the bedroom. As he approached the closed door he heard a giggle.

'Kyiomi, apparently... but...'

Nervousness returned, and his body tensed in anticipation. His mind didn't regisetred what the subconscious had already detected and recognized. His palms began to sweat and his heart began to beat fast in his chest.

The giggles... seemed so familiar.. as if...

He started to open the door.

The creaking of the bed.

Moans, groans -

Panting...?

His eyes widened when reality hit him.

At that moment, he opened the door wide and froze from the sight he saw in front of him.

'What the...-?!'

"LIGHT?!"


	13. Disappointments

Light was frozen standing between the doors.

"Kyiomi..." he said in a low voice.

On their bed he saw his girlfriend and above her some unknown man screwing her. He felt betrayed.

'Fuck!'

"Light!"

Kyiomi pushed the man aside, covering her naked body as if she could hide what the two of them had been doing just a few seconds ago.

She was surprised that Light showed up at all. She didn't expect him, she thought, like most, that he didn't survive, or if he did, that he didn't return on purpose. She didn't believe he will return anymore.

"Light... y-you're alive!"

With wide eyes they both watched him, Kyiomi remained sitting on the bed and her lover began to dress hurriedly.

Light's surprised look soon changed. It darkened and he frowned bitterly.

"Get out!"

"What?? B-but-..."

"Get out! Both of you!"

"Light, I didn't... I... I...-"

"I don't care. I said get out!"

"I'm sorry honey... I did-"

Light cut her off again, "are you deaf? Get out of here!!!"

Kyiomi began to cry, slowly rising from the bed, her body still wrapped in a white silk blanket. "Light... let me explain, I..."

"Don't!"

Kyiomi bit her lip, her face red with embarrassment and tears rolling down her face.

"Please...?"

Light stared, determined. "We will talk about this, but now - get off my sight and out of my apartment!"

Dark-haired woman sobbed, dressing into her clothes. Her lover was quicker, he headed fast towards the door. Light only glanced at him, disapproving, then looked back at Kyiomi waiting for her to leave.

He didn't let her say anything else. She quickly left the room too, and picked up a couple of her things and left the apartment.

It didn't matter to Light where she went. He was exhausted and wanted to rest. He expected to spend a nice and relaxing evening with her, but those plans were ruined in a second.

'Was it cheating... or...-?'

But...

That didn't matter anyway. She had done it, and Light wasn't in the mood to tolerate it at that moment. He had a difficult period behind him and he knew he had acted justly.

Light was left alone standing in the bedroom.

He looked at the bed again, felt a bit nauseous, then went outside, closing the door behind him.

Silence...

Loneliness...

It was breaking his heart.

Again.

He locked the door of the apartment, went to take a shower, then took out a futon and fell asleep on the ground in the living room.

Dreams didn't come to him that night.

*

On the other side of the planet L Lawliet was in his workroom. He was working on the following patents for his new weapons. He returned to his job after a while. He was so depressed and sleep deprived that his mind turned off all the feelings in self-defense and with two strong coffee drinking one after the other, L had such a good and strong focus - the ideal time to work on new projects.

He knew Mello and Matt should arrive that day. He was already impatient. He still had a little hope that Light might return with them. He didn’t even know why, but he knew it was idiotic and silly to expect.

L has not contacted them since. They just wrote to him that everything went well with the delivery and that they will go to buy supplies.

As he was looking at his screen, he heard a knock on the door that immediately began to open even though L didn't give permission to enter. He looked in that direction irritably, expecting Mello at the door, for it was mostly his practice to enter the room like that.

But when he saw the elderly gentleman enter the work roon, he panicked and was suddenly drenched in cold sweat.

"W-Watari? What are you doing here? I thought this time was Roger's turn -?"

"Don't act so naive, L. You know very well why I am here." Watari looked at him with a strictly serious expression.

L gulped, feeling increasing nervousness. Yes, he knew, and very damn well why Watari was there.

He had disappointed the man, and the man probably hates him now...

He straightened his back, turned his body towards him slightly, but looking somewhere beside the other man, because he just couldn't look him in the eye.

"I know. And I am sorry, Watari. I'm sorry that I disappointed you and failed you." When he finished his sentence he looked briefly at him.

"Yes. You did. And hard. You cannot imagine how I feel now..."

L bowed his head. His shoulders dropped and his back slumped again. He had his bare feet on the ground, but at that moment he pulled them towards him and lifted them onto a chair, hugging them.

Watari shook his head, coming closer. This time, L reminded him of the times when he was still small and when he scolded him, he would always take the same position. But it didn’t happen often that Watari had to scold him. Only when he was a very little, still learning things, but as he was older and more reasonable, there was less and less of it and suddenly he didn't have to do it anymore.

'Did I relented too much...? Did L become a rapist due to less rigor...?' Watari couldn't tell, but who knows. Maybe L needed a stricter parent.

"What happened to you that you stumbled so low, L?"

L tensed at those words. He? Stumbled? Watari is probably right. But why did that happen to him? L's subconscious refused and didn't allow him to understand that truth.

"I don't know..." once again that same answer which he gave himself a million times.

What he didn't want to admit was that he felt a strong urge and desire for a younger man. On the other hand, it cannot justify what he did to him. Yet every human being should possess a healthy dose of self-control. And he lost and neglected that self-control in Light's presence and completely consciously ignored it.

He knew what he was doing, but he still did it. His animalistic urges prevailed.

"How is it possible that you don't know !?" Watari crossed his arms, raising his voice slightly.

Since L gave no further explanation, Watari knew that he had to come to a conclusion and find out the reason himself. He knew it wasn't entirely true what L had told him. That there is something more behind it.

Just one look at him and it was clear that something was bothering him. That, he's sorry.

Watari had to see him in person to make sure L didn’t really become a monster. He saw that there was a bigger problem under the surface. He also remembered L's ex-boyfriend and their relationship and the sudden parting and how after that L suffered a lot even though he tried to hide it.

But things were done, so L should take the responsibility for the consequences.

He sighed loudly, adding, "I just hope a similar situation won't happen again because I'll put you behind bars myself. But, you should know one thing, as soon as the accusation arrives I won't be on your side, you have to bear the consequences alone." The older man was a respectable lawyer and he defended only clients he was sure were innocent, he did not want to defend criminals, rapists, murderers...

"Of course," L replied, "I didn't even plan otherwise."

"L..." Watari sighed again, "that is not a way how a man handle things. No matter how hurt you are or suffering... that's just not the way."

"I know. I am aware of that. That's why I said that I'm ready to take the consequences for it."

"You could have been without it... you made an unnecessary problem for yourself..."

L stared at his screen, now irritated. 'It's easy for Watari to talk and teach me lessons when he's never been in my skin.' L knew all about it, but still, it was stronger than him.

"I don't care."

Watari frowned. He stood for a moment, saying nothing but watching the younger man. L also said nothing. He hoped Watari would leave the room as soon as possible and leave him alone.

And that's what happened.

When he heard the door close, L was relieved. He relaxed and lowered his head to the table with a loud thud.

*

Light got up late in the morning. When he opened his eyes, it took him a few seconds to remember exactly where he was and what had happened to him in the last twenty-four hours.

He stated that he was no longer in the oasis and in the middle of the desert. This means that L no longer has access to him. And not even on the plane, traveling home, but in his living room. And alone completely. He doesn't even have his girlfriend by his side.

He remembered again, what was the reason for that and felt sadness and disappointment.

He got up and went to brush his teeth and face and change his clothes. Fortunately, he still found his clothes in the closet where it had always belonged. When he was dressed, he checked his cell phone.

He saw a missed call and a text message from Kyiomi. He sighed loudly and opened it to read.

\-- 'Light, baby, I am SORRY. I was desperate because you weren't there so I did that stupid... thing... I'm Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Can we meet today? I miss you. K.'--

Light sighed again. He didn't even know what to do. Should he forgive her or not...? He wasn't in the mood to see her. He was still influenced by what happened yesterday.

He put the phone down on the table and decided to give her an answer later. He had to clear his mind and recover a little from everything what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Comments are always appreciated. ❤


	14. He is my sin

Light was sitting in the park waiting for Kiyomi. He arrived a little earlier, because he was one of those people who don't want to be late and when they have time they prefer to come to the agreed place earlier.

Kiyomi was persistent that they meet at the place where they first time kissed and started dating. Light was not thrilled with the idea, but didn't want to protest, so he just rolled with it.

Kiyomi showed up on time like that first time.

She approached him, her dark blue long skirt swaying in the breeze, it was somehow the first things Light noticed, and greeted him. He stood up and returned the greeting.

"Will be okay if we walk?" Light asked raising to his feet.

"Yes, that will be okay..." Kiyomi agreed and bowed her head, looking a little embarrassed.

All in all, she had a reason to feel that way.

They walked slowly, but didn't immediately begin any conversation or anything. Silence was awkward.

Light was still not sure whether to give Kiyomi a second chance or not. A mixture of emotions battled in him. He for sure no longer knew how he felt about her.

He had a strong desire to leave her, but on the other hand, his broken part sought solace. He wanted to have someone by his side because he couldn't stand loneliness.

Loneliness at that moment seemed to him like the most horrible thing in the world.

The flow of his thoughts interrupted Kiyomi. "Light, babe... I- I just want to tell you again that I'm sorry..."

There was silence again between them after those words left her mouth, and as Light stayed silent, she decided to continue, "I.. I... Was very lonely without you. I missed you and the police and your parents couldn't find you. I know I was wrong to end up in someone else's arms, but try to understand me..."

Light turned to her, raising an eyebrow. So she didn't even bother to try to find him.

Kiyomi looked at him and noticed that Light hadn't bought such a cheap excuse.

"You want me to try to understand you? And what do you think, that I was better there?"

She looked away from him, biting her lip. "I know nothing can justify my behavior, but I sincerely regret it."

"You're right, nothing can justify what you did."

Her face saddened.

At that moment Light remembered L. And how the man hurt him. Now his girlfriend broke his heart too.

"If you only knew what kind of hell I went through... what you were going through was nothing compared to that."

Kiyomi turned her gaze back to him and said, "I believe you, and I'm sorry... Maybe now is not the time to ask about it, but I am interested to hear about that how did you manage to get out of that desert? Your body wasn't found at the scene of the accident, so the guess was that you went through the desert alone..."

"Yes... I was wandering alone through the desert. At one point I thought I would die of thirst and hunger, but I managed to get out, but I wouldn't talk about it at this moment."

"Oh... but, anyway, I am glad that you are here, alive and well."

"Thank you." At that moment, Light wondered if she really meant it. Somehow she didn't seem too shaken by the whole situation.

They were supposed to be hugging and kissing at home, but that unfortunate event stood between them now.

Again that unpleasant silence stretched between the two.

Kiyomi struggled again to extract some words from Light. She wondered will Light forgive her or will he definitely break up with her. She stopped and Light stopped right after a few steps when he realized she paused.

"Light, I love you."

Light suppressed a frown, but his eyes narrowed slightly. "I wouldn't toy with those words now."

"I'm not toying! I really mean it... you know I love you. Nothing had changed in meantime."

Light sighed.

"Do you still love me?" She asked.

"Kiyomi... I'm confused at the moment about all what happened. You can't possibly expect me to completely forget about it!?"

"No... of course. That's understandable... but is there at least a chance that we stay together..?"

Light was still struggling with himself, what to do. He thought of Lawliet. And that he wants to erase his memories about what happened. And Kiyomi too didn't make things easier by putting pressure on him.

After a short pause, Light gave his answer, "if you really regret what you did, then I think I can give you a second chance, but we'll go slowly this time..."

The corners of her lips curled up and the dark haired woman hugged him. "Of course, anything..."

For some reason Light's heart clenched and sank deeper, and instead of joy, he felt even greater sadness.

*

L was curled up in his chair again and worked diligently on new projects. Ever since Light left, he'd been cluttered with work and sweets so he wouldn't think so much of him. The work distracted him from the thoughts of the younger man, and the sweets eased his pain. Others have already begun to worry about his general health.

They thought it would pass him, but days, even weeks passed and his condition and behaviour didn't improve.

Mello began to regret having bought so many supplies of candy to the oasis, when he brought him another piece of strawberry cake. Several times he tried to cheer him up, to make him not grieve for the brown-haired man, but he didn't succeed. Only sometimes, but that didn't last long. He knew that procrastination and sweets served as a substitute, but he also knew that was not healthy.

In addition - insomnia and drinking five coffees a day.

The summons to trial also didn't come, which was also frustrating to L.

"Thanks Michael." L thanked without raising his eyes from the screen in front of him.

"You could go out for a walk sometimes for a change, you know?"

"I know. But I'm fine like this."

Mello's frown deepened. "Lawliet!"

"What?"

"Let's go!"

"Where?"

"Outside. Now!"

"No."

"You'll get fat if you sit all day and eat a ton of candy!"

"So what?"

"Ungh! You're impossible!" Mello threw his hands into the air from frustration.

L just smirked, staring at his computer, showing a strawberry piece of cake in his mouth.

After a short pause Mello spoke again, now sitting in the chair next to him, "you know... Near is still 'sulking' because you broke up with him."

L raised an eyebrow at that, "really, still...? He knew we weren't in a serious relationship, from the start. He needs to wake up already. It would be good for him to travel with you two. That way he will have a chance to find someone else."

"I know... but what can I do when he's stubborn?!"

L, from the day when Light left, hadn't slept with Near anymore. That day was the last time they had sex. He decided to break off that relationship he had with the white-haired young man.

At that moment, they heard the door open loudly. That caught their attention and they both looked in the direction of the door.

Their eyes widened when they saw who was standing between the doors.

"B..."

Mello gasped, his mouth open and the black-haired man next to him had a similar expression on his face. They looked as if their eyes would pop out at any moment.

"Yes, that's right! It's me!" said the dark haired man, with slightly shorter hair from L, who looked similar to him at first glance, but visibly different when a careful eye pays more attention. He had a wide grin on his face, and noticeably different aura around him, while entering the room.

L then started to glare back, annoyed, "what the hell are you doing here B?"

"Come to see ya!"

"You have no reason to be here at all!"

"Why not...? Didn't you miss me?"

"No."

"How dare you even show up here?" Mello added pointing finger at him.

"I'm a member of the team, too, aren't I?"

"Not anymore!" Said Mello.

"No. You are not. Since you decided to leave." L retorted irritably too.

Beyond pursed his lips at L, as if offended, but continued to walk towards him, a hint of playfulness in his eyes. L frowned and shifted in his chair, feeling a little nervous and continued to push the pieces of cake into his mouth in a hurry as if afraid that B would steal a piece from him.

"Don't be afraid, love. I won't bite you."

"Don't call me that!"

"Okay...! I'm going. I'll just leave you two to clear things up." Mello suddenly started to feel awkward, so he retired from the room.

"Noo... Michael, don't leave me with this psycho...!"

"Psycho? What...??" B started to laugh. "Oh, Lawliet... you re so funny, as always..."

'Well, Mello left the room, without turning back. Crap.'

"B! It wasn't meant to be funny!" L started to glare daggers again at the other dark haired man.

As he looked at him at that moment, B leaned closer, his emerald eyes shining in the daylight beautifully, and tempting as always.

'Shit.'

L swallowed thickly, his nervousess increased. "Why are you really here, Beyond?"

"Like I told you, I came to see you, and come back to you. Aren't you happy?"

"To get back to me!? Are you crazy!? After all what you had done to me?!"

"Yes, I'm crazy for you." The smile never left B's lips. He liked that he was still able to make L nervous.

L stared at him from below and B from above smirked at him. Then he reached out a hand and ran it through L's black strands of hair gently. "You know... I still remember the softness of your hair and skin..."

Lawliet turned his look away.

He remembered their happy moments. Everything they shared together and how happy he was. His heart tightened. Then his thoughts shifted to their breakup and how it all ended.

B told him that he is leaving with A. That it's over. He told him he never loved him and that all things that happened between them until then it was just a lie and that he just wanted to have fun.

'Why did he come now...?'

L couldn't understand.

Probably to torment him again.

B was jealous of him. L was the best in everything.

He was tired of being always in the shadows. So, one day he decided to try to seduce him and he succeeded. It was weird at first, but B got used to it.

Months and years passed and B waited for the perfect opportunity to break him. To hurt him. He waited for L to fall in love with him and to trust him completely. Then he dragged A into their relationship and somehow persuaded L that they have an open relationship with him. L accepted this reluctantly, but in the end B's plan went well.

He gave him an unexpected blow, directly to his pride and his heart. He didn't hesitate.

"That is bullshit...!" L hissed. 

"...and, you know that! You don't love me, remember? You must have hit your head hard in the meantime to think that. You told me there was nothing on me that you could love and want me for." L said bitterly.

"Hmm...no. I am afraid that I was wrong. I missed you so much, my love. I realized it when we were apart."

"Well, it's over. I don't love you anymore." L said more calmly avoiding B's eyes.

"Oh... are you sure...?" B started massaging the top of L's skull and continued to massage lower and lower until he reached his shoulders.

"Yes... I am sure..."

'I'm confused as fuck, dammit!'

B bent down and started whispering in L's ear, "maybe your mind say that, but your body says otherwise..." he gasped enjoying L's shivers.

"Get away from me, B..."

L started to think about Light, as if he wanted to escape. Light was so pure compared to Beyond. Those feelings he felt for him were sacred to him.

"...or else...?"

"Or else I knock you down!"

L grabbed another man by the arm, and knocked him to the ground, crushing him with his body down.

"AUCH! Whoa! L! Hahahahah... you really surprised me! I see the fire still live inside you, I like it!"

Then, just out of the corner of his eye, he noticed L's fist approaching his face quickly. It was too late for any reaction. He felt a sharp pain when L's bones and skin collided with his. He saw the stars and the darkness before his eyes for a few seconds from the force of the blow. Blood began to flow from the inside of his cheek into his mouth.

"I. SAID. I. DON'T. WANT. YOU. HERE!!!"

"Oh... you want to say that you hate me now?"

"Yes! Damn yes, I hate you!"

"Well, that hurts."

"It hurt me too, back then! You moron!!!"

"Hmm... but, you still love me too..."

"NO!"

"Yes..."

"Shut up!"

"Make me."

L was shaking from frustration and anger. Blood was boiling and rushing through his veins rapidly.

Beyond smirked again. Mocking him. He pulled him closer, lips almost touching, but L managed to stop him halfway, although he couldn't stop the breath of another man caressing his face. Suddenly that mix of emotions upset him and B took the opportunity and swapped their positions. Suddenly L found himself under him, B gripping his arms with both of his hands, as they both experienced dejá vù.

It was their practice when they quarreled over stupid things. L remembered how their quarrels always ended.

Sex.

At that moment, he felt B's hand on his semi-hard member.

'Shit!'

"B... let me go! Aahhh... get off me...!"

"No way." Beyond grinned smugly, continuing to rub and stimulate him the way only he knew. He knew all of Lawliet's weaknesses and everything he liked.

But L was fighting too hard and B didn't like it. That was ruining his plan. So he decided to pull out a pair of handcuffs and tie both his hands.

"No! B, no. Please..." L was weak. Weaker than usual because he was exhausted from lack of sleep, improper diet and B seemed to be in his best shape. And stronger than he was before. Anyway, between the two of them, he is the one who exercised more and ate healthier.

L managed to defend himself for a while, but in the end B prevailed over him.

"NO!"

Metal clicked. The handcuffs were each on one of his arms with a chain over the leg of a hard massive wooden table.

"Dammit!"

B continued to skillfully slip his hand in L's jeans and boxers. L’s member was getting harder and harder and the desire for sex was getting stronger. He hadn't had sex in a while so his frustrations became more clearer.

L tried not to make any shameful noises, but it was getting harder and harder.

When B released his cock from the boxers L let out a loud sigh of relief and anticipation. Completely unexpectedly, B took him skillfully in his mouth, L almost screamed.

He felt excited and confused. On the one hand, he hated B for what he had done to him, and on the other hand, he felt a desire for him that he didn't know how to identify.

As B fucked him with his mouth, L relaxed more and more. He shut off his brain and indulged in complete satisfaction.

He also stopped resisting, already throwing his hips forward eagerly for the relief that B had denied him when he raised his head, releasing L's wet cock with a pop and letting him stand throbbing, leaking precum, while L let out sounds of pure frustration. "AAARNGHH...! Fuck you, B!"

B started laughing out loud. "You want me now, huh?"

L looked away, furious, his face flushed.

"Awww, come on L. I know you want me." B added and continued to massage L's cock with his hand still delaying his orgasm.

L started moaning again and shivering from the overstimulating sensation. He just breathed out one - NO, and continued to moan.

B interrupted his pre-orgasmic state again.

"AAAAA! Nooo, fuck!"

It was pure torture.

L started to feel dizzy when B repeated it for the third time.

"Hmmm... if you admit that you still love me and want to have me you by your side, I'll let you cum."

L didn't want to. But he was surely confused. Light came to his mind again. He shut his eyes tightly, as it would help him to disappear from B's reach.

B then took off all his clothes. L noticed the absence of his body and opened his eyes, curious. When he saw him naked, with his beautifully shaped athletic body, and erect cock, the excitement grew against his will.

A smile never left B's face. Since he had both his shoes and socks taken off, he started rubbing L's cock with his foot. It sent waves of excitement through L all over his body.

The torture continued.

Then B suddenly knelt in front of him and positioned himself above his waiting cock with his butt, showing it inside himself deep into his warmth.

"AAAAAHHHH...OHHH...OH!!" L didn't expect that, and the sensation was so intense that he only needed two or three thrusts up and down to reach his orgasm. But B didn't move, just watched him with his piercing green eyes.

L was trembling, and trying to make B move.

"You know what you need to say..."

He knew. But he didn't want to. He refused it. But when B started moving slowly, very slowly, he had to say it.

"B! Please... I... I... need you..."

"Hmmm, that's how I like it... anything else?"

"I... I... I love you."

B smiled. He was satisfied and slowly began to accelerate the pace, stroking his own erection. As he moved up and down along L's dick, he leaned forward and joined their lips in a kiss.

L's eyes widened and he gasped as he was soon struck by an explosive orgasm. He moaned into B's mouth as he released his cum deep into B's hole, and Beyond dropped his cum between their sweating bodies.

Relief, followed instantly when he finished, but so did a guilty conscience.

'Light... oh... Light... I didn't want to... shit!'

He closed his eyes and felt the warmth beside him. He knew that that was not the warmth of the man he want to feel beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t want to introduce B to the story, but since I wanted to explain what happened between L and him, the story made me involve him in the plot. All in all, it was easier for me to write L/Beyond than Light/Kiyomi. lol
> 
> Well, tell me what you think. Comments are welcome ;)


	15. A new plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you love someone, you have fears like Light have in this chapter.

They were laying in bed next to each other and watched a movie. It was already evening and they were resting after work day. At the end Light decided to stay and work in in Japan, so they were at home.

Kiyomi looked out of the corner of her eye at Light. It was already starting to get on her nerves that Light was still reserved and didn’t want to sleep with her. It's been almost two months since he returned home. It was just too long.

She turned her gaze back to the TV and continued watching.

Light was immersed in watching and because she didn't want to interrupt him, she patiently waited for the movie to end. And when that time finally came she started crossing her fingers over his arm, and digging her face into the crook on the side of his neck, kissing his delicate skin. Then she began to run her other hand over his torso, feeling every muscle under the fabric, getting more and more aroused. She had waited for too long. Her crotch began to get wetter and readier with every passed seccond.

She ran her tongue over the side of his neck, leaving wet marks. Light stirred nervously, and spoke softly, "Kiyomi..."

"Hm?"

Kiyomi didn't stop. Her hand traveled lower and lower until she reached his soft cock. She started rubbing it, but nothing special happened.

She frowned.

Then she stradled him throwing blanked to the side. She was determined to do her best to make him hard and willing to have sex with her.

"Kiyomi, I..."

"You still not feeling ready... honey?"

She started kissing him on the lips anyway, their crotches rubbing together against each other. Kiyomi moaned with desire as she ran her hands through his long strands of hair.

Light returned the kisses, eyes closed. L came to his mind, he just couldn't erase him from his head and from his heart. But at least that helped him get excited.

As it was good, so it was a bad thing.

His desire for that man simply didn't stop. Light needed him, sometimes it would drive him crazy. No longer did Kiyomi's presence help ease his pain and feeling of emptiness.

Kiyomi felt his excitement and broke the kiss. Light opened his eyes, an action that returned him to reality, and his excitement waned. The woman undressed in front of him, revealing her lush breasts and beautifully shaped body dressed in sexy black laced underwear.

But, it was all in vain.

No matter how hard he tried, Light couldn't bring himself to enjoy their intimate moment.

She took him in her hand again and noticed that it was half hard. She frowned again and looked him in the eye, asking, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know... Maybe I'm still influenced by what you did..."

She sighed loudly, visibly disappointed. She suddenly didn't know what to do. Then one thing came to her mind, it gave more meaning and explanation for Light's condition, so she asked, "Would you like me more if I were a man?"

Light's eyes widened. "What? No... no... I..."

"You're more into men, aren't you?" She stared at him, not breaking eye contact.

Light didn't know how to answer her. Now he was sure that Kiyomi was the one who break in into his laptop, probably with someone's help in search of some information and came across his collection.

"I... well... no, I...-"

"I saw it, Light. In your laptop!"

Well, it was here.

"T-that doesn't mean anything..."

"Oh... wow, not at all! So why are you soft then?!"

"I told you. Maybe it's because I saw you with another man."

"Maybe, but then, explain to me, what does your watching such videos mean?!"

Light looked away, embarrassed. Maybe he was really more into guys. He had in the past one crush. And it was a guy, but he continued saying, "I don't know..."

"So, you don't know!? Well, to me, it's very obvious!"

"I'm not in the mood Kiyomi..." Light got out of bed and went to sleep in the living room. Kiyomi was left alone lying in bed, frustrated and annoyed.

*

-~-

It was dark, Light was walking through the desert. He saw L in the distance. He accelerated slowly his pace towards him, but whenever he approached, L moved further away.

He started calling after him: "L !!!"

But L didn't turn around. He didn't stop.

"L...!"

'Wait for me...'

Wait...?

'What I am doing? I shouldn't...'

His heart ached and he felt lost, hopeless.

"L..."

'Please...'

He kept calling his name. To reach out to him.

'Lawliet...'

"Don't leave me here... I don't want to be alone. It's dark and... - cold... I... I...-"

'I need you.'

'I miss you...'

L turned at that moment. Dark circles under his eyes were even darker and his face looked ghost-like.

He stood and waited.

"L...!?"

Light flinched, but he continued to walk.

Just a little...

Just a little bit more.

He noticed that he got closer to him and then L suddenly began to sink into the sand as he looked at him with a sad look.

"L!!!"

It was within arm's reach, but before he grabbed L's arm, his fingers slipped and L disappeared into the darkness.

"L!!!!!" Light shouted from the depths of his lungs.

-~-

"L!"

Light released a scream, waking from his sleep all drenched in cold sweat.

He had a nightmare, again. Bad dreams haunted him almost every night.

He was clutching his book tightly. He fell asleep while reading on the couch. Kiyomi was at work that day so he was alone because he had that day off.

Light sighed and wiped his wet forehead with his palm.

'Shit!...'

He felt sadness and emptiness. Suddenly he began to worry. The idea that he could lose him forever didn't leave him. 'What if that was the last time I saw him? And suddenly I won't have a chance to see him again at all?' He shook his head.

He knew he had to do something about it.

Light got up and went to the kitchen to drink water. When he returned to the living room he picked up his cell phone and looked at the screen and saw that he had missed a call from Mello. He had the sound off so it didn't wake him up.

He's already used to Mello's calls. He called him sometimes and they chatted for half an hour.

He always skillfully avoided the subject of rape and trial. And all about L. Mello didn't mention anything either. He put it off, but he knew it was long overdue, and that he has to solve it once and for all. 

He assumed he was putting it off because of the fear he felt because it meant they would meet again.

Light decided to call Mello later.

Then it occured to him, 'what if something happened?' Then he dismissed that thought thinking that Mello would send him the message if something really happened. 'No... I'll call him latter.'

Evening came and Light was anxious when he needed to call him. Because of that topic that he finally planned to reopen and resolve once and for all.

While he was thinking about what to say, he got an idea. At first, it seemed stupid to him, but it didn't give him peace.

'It's stupid... but... it costs me nothing if I try...'

He was clutching at his phone, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He tried to breathe deeply and evenly to calm the nervousness and trembling in his voice. He was alone in the apartment so it was safe to talk. Kiyomi was supposed to come back every minute, but she was late again that day. She always said that she had to stay longer and finish some work. Light was suspicious, but in real, he didn't care anymore.

He dialed Mello's number and waited as it rang, holding his breath. Once, twice, third time and Mello answered.

"Hey, Light! What's up?"

"Hey, Mello... I saw you call me, but I couldn't answer."

Mello's voice was cheerfull, that was a good sign, Light immediatelly noticed. He felt relief.

'Nothing wrong happened.'

"Oh, it's okay! I assumed you were probably busy and would call back later."

"Yeah..."

"By the way how are you? We haven't heard from you for a while, I hope you haven't forgotten about us... hahah."

"No, of course not. I'm fine... and you?" Light smiled.

"We're fine too... So you're not planning on going back to Africa, where you used to work?"

"Hahah... noo..."

"Ah, it's a shame. But, all right, I understand you. If I were you, no one would make me come back. Ever."

"Hahah... I know... that's why I'm not coming back either."

"And even if happened to me, what happened to you, that man would end up in jail the very next day as soon as I had the opportunity to see my lawyer."

Light sighed loudly. It has started.

"Haven't you decided yet what you're going to do about it? You should have sued him a long time ago..."

"I know, Mello, but..."

"But, what ?? There is not - but! That should have been resolved already... I don't understand you at all... what's stopping you from turning him in?"

Light swallowed hard, and started to sweat.

Mello, on the other hand, remembered.

He remembered that night when Light was drunk, so he decided to finally ask that question, which bothered him all the time, "Light...?"

"Yes?"

"Do you like him?"

"W-wha-??"

"I asked, do you like L?"

"Umm... no. Nooo. Why do you think so?"

"Well, it seems to me that, yes. That night when you were drunk, you had outbursts of jealousy. And now... now that you need to sue him, you put it off for no reason."

"No... that just seemed to you... and it's not that I'm delaying it, I just wasn't in the mood to see him again."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes..."

"Um... well, if you say so. If you don't care about him then I can tell you something..."

Light was curious and waited gripping harder his phone.

"L was pretty fucked up when you left. And he's still suffering. I didn't want to mention it to you before, but L started to have feelings for you. But if you don't feel anything for him, then that's okay and you can only be glad he's suffering."

Light's heart tightened and began to beat faster again when he learned that L was suffering for him. 'L started having feelings for me... he like me?' Deep inside of himself, Light began to feel a glimmer of hope. He was sure he can try to tell Mello about his plan.

"Glad to hear that."

"I know."

"Umm... Mello...?"

"Yes."

"I'll start working on it tomorrow. I'll contact a lawyer. But, Mello, listen to me carefully now... I want to explain my plan to you first."

Light inhaled deeply and started to explain his plan to the blond young man.

*

While L was assembling his latest invented gun, Beyond came to his work room with a tray full of candy.

"Good mornin' my love!" He was grinning from ear to ear, looking intensely at the other, grumpy-looked man, who turned to him with a icy stare.

"Awww, L... don't give me that look!"

"I have no reason to look at you differently. Bringing me a pile of candy that you brought from Japan every morning won't change a thing between us."

"Aaaaa..." B whined. He laid the tray on the desk and noticed L eyeing all the sweets with hungry eyes. B simply knew what L liked.

'Dammit.'

"You're not going to buy me with candy... no matter what amount of it you bring to me." L tried to resist it. But it was harder and harder each day.

Then Mello came into the room with pancakes on the plate and noticed that Beyond was there too, "Oh, B, you're here too... 'morning."

"Morning."

Mello still wondered why L allowed B to stay in the oasis. When asked if they had reconciled, L said no. But somehow they seemed too close, even though L didn't show it that much.

He placed a plate next to a tray with a pile of sweets. He raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly at the two black-haired men. L thanked him.

Mello continued to look at them confused, his look shifting from one to another, then left the room feeling uncomfortable, and because they continued to ignore him.

When Mello left the room, L put the gun aside and took a plate of pancakes, sat down on a chair and started eating ignoring the other man.

B then leaned in the other chair next to L, taking and opening the chocolate with the strawberry filling, starting to eat it slowly.

L rolled his eyes, but deep down he wondered what that irresistible-looking chocolate tasted like, with dripping pink cream that tickled his nostrils.

B smirked, when he noticed how L is watching him eating, and continued licking his fingers provocative.

"Mmm...this is good. Mmmm... wanna taste it? These are new."

"No."

"Are you suuure?"

"Yes."

L ate his pancakes with maple syrup while B enjoyed the strawberry chocolate. When he shoved the last piece in his mouth, L couldn't resist. He laid down his plate with a loud crash, jumped out of his chair, approached B who was taken aback, frozen, by the quick reaction. His wide eyes widened even more as L smacked their lips together, pushing his tongue in and moving and exploring the taste of chocolate. He tugged at his hair with his hand, adjusting B's head to have better access to his mouth.

Excitement grew in B's pants. L also wasn't indifferent. He swirled his tongue inside B's cavern and caught that last piece of chocolate.

He parted their lips leaving a wet mark on B's lips. B left dumbfounded, shivering from the sudden lack of L's presence.

The strawberry flavor invaded L’s senses. Although the taste was mixed with B's, it was delicious and L ate the stolen piece of chocolate from B's mouth with pleasure.

"Hmh... I have to admit it's delicious. Sorry I stole your last piece."

B still watched him with his mouth wide open. That was the moment when something broke in him.

L just waved his hand, leaning back in his chair, continuing to eat pancakes again.

Beyond got up from his chair and quickly stood in front of him with a question, "what the hell?!"

"What?" L retorted confusedly.

"You think it's over? That you can just stop what you started?!"

"And... what exactly did I start?"

"Don't pretend to be naive, L!" Beyond approached and leaned toward him, so close, their noses almoust touching, feeling the breaths of each other. B wanted more, much more, even though he denied it to himself.

"Back off, B... Just because we fuck sometimes doesn't mean I wanted to do it now. I just wanted to taste damn chocolate."

"Oh, is that so...?"

"Yes. It's on me to decide when we do it."

"Pfff... You're always so bossy."

"Think what you want." L retorted indifferently and turned back to his desk, and continued to work.

B stood next to him, irritated and hurt. His heart clenched at L's words.

He didn't like that new feeling at all.

He put his hands in his pockets and left the room in silence deeply immersed in his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, BB is Japanese. That's why they all glared at Light when he introduced himself in the begining and told them that he is from Japan xD Others, L, Mello, Matt, Watari are from England. Like in canon.
> 
> Thanks for reading and support so far! ❤💞


	16. Breaking point

"Hmm... really intriguing, I have to admit. I've never had a client like this before." Said the man with black long hair sipping coffee and looking at the young auburn-haired man who was sitting in front of him.

"So, Mikami, you think it's feasible?" Light asked, hoping his lawyer would say that it is.

"Of course, why not, but you have to reckon you'll have to pay extra. Of course I'll do this for you this time for free, as a memory of our friendship."

Light felt relief, and added, "what? You want to say that we're not friends anymore?" He smiled slightly, drawing a cup of cappuccino to his lips.

"Of course not, but a long time ago it was completely different."

"Well, things are changing, we're growing up and nothing is the same as before..." especially since Light first time noticed his attraction to a man when they were still sixteen. He started avoiding him more and more because he felt uncomfortable, but they kept in touch, hanging out sometimes, but rarely.

This time, Light was also considering whether to contact him or find another lawyer, but since he had a special request, he decided to contact a person he knew and could trust.

"Good. We'll do it. I need to contact a few people first." Mikami stated, not taking his eyes off the man in front of him. Light began to feel a little uncomfortable as Mikami watched him piercingly.

He stirred a little, trying to look relaxed. When he thought about it again, he no longer nurtured interest in him. In his mind now it was just Lawliet. Kiyomi also lost her place in his heart even though she was the one who helped him forget about Mikami when he was dating her and when they started going out.

Since he didn't have the courage to admit to his friend back then, he decided to hide that secret deep inside himself for years.

Today, he was worried about how he would feel when they met after long time, but after he saw him, he was convinced of his decision. These dark eyes couldn't be compared to those he met in far away Africa.

"So... we have a deal?"

"Yes, we have a deal."

*

Light was at home preparing dinner that day. Mikami called him and said to him positive news. Light was pleased but also nervous. The date for the trial had yet to be decided and the decision already was that the trial would take place in Japan and not in Africa.

When he finished preparing dinner, he looked at watch and noticed that Kiyomi was late from work again. He sighed and started to eat diner alone, again.

When he finished eating he decided to take a short walk so that food he ate would digest better and so that he could sleep better at night.

When he went outside and walked through the parking lot, at the end of their street, he noticed that Kiyomi was standing with some man and talking. He didn't hear the conversation because he was quite far away and he also didn't see the man's face the best because it was dark.

He frowned, slowed his pace, and at that moment saw them kiss. He froze for a second. The nausea returned to him and he remembered the day he found her with a stranger in their bed. Although he has since seen her more as a friend than as a partner lately, he felt betrayed because who knows how long she cheated on him like that.

Then anger awoke in him and the desire to solve that situation once and for all.

'I should have broken up with her right then... I should have known...'

He walked quickly towards them. They heard his footsteps so they both turned to him.

Kiyomi looked surprised, she wasn't expecting him obviously, and the man next to her was the same one he found her cheating on him with.

"Light! It's not how it-"

"OH... just shut up, Kiyomi! It's over! I had enough of your bullshit!"

"NO... noo... Light... I..-"

Light just turned around and said, "I'm packing your things and you can move out right away! It's over between us."

"Light..." she started crying again and shedding fake tears.

"Kiyomi..." her lover tried to stop her as she followed Light.

"Let me go!"

She was a bitch towards him too, and she obviously didn't even know who she really wanted to be with.

Light no longer cared. He had had enough and no longer wanted to tolerate her excuses and lies. His love towards her, if it was true love, completely disappeared the moment he saw her with another.

He marched towards his apartment, furious, and Kiyomi didn't give up, but ran after him, and her lover behind them.

When Light opened the door, he started throwing her things out of his apartment.

"Light! Wait! Wait...! No... nooo... I love you, Light! Let me explain..."

"That's bullshit Kiyomi, and you know that!"

"NO! I love you, really, I do!"

"I don't care anymore! It's over!"

"No, Light, please... let me in, I will explain..."

"I said - NO."

"P-pleaseee..." Kiyomi cried and gathered her scattered things. A little further behind her stood her lover and watched the scene. "Kiyomi, come with me..."

"NO!"

He rolled his eyes. He knew that she is stuborn, and didn't really understand why is she holding on to Light so much. She always say that she love him, and that she will break up with Light, but that didn't actually happened, nor in two months as she promised.

Light threw out her things and threw out her suitcase as well. He didn't stop until the apartment was cleared of her belongings. Neighbors came out to see what was happening and why there was such noise.

Kiyomi cried as she packed her things. She didn't stop begging Light to forgive her and let her in.

When Light finished throwing out her things, he said one last time, "Kiyomi, remember my words: it's over between us!"

"But, Light...!"

"No. It's over." He said and slammed the door behind him.

Kiyomi stayed a few more minutes to sit by his door and cry. Her lover left because she didn't listen to him when he asked her to go with him to his home.

*

'Should I go look for him...? I know his address... it would be enough just to go there. But... he said he hated me and that explicitly... ungh...!' L started to feel depressed and frustrated again when he remembered Light's words.

He sat at his computer and stuffed a chocolate cake into his mouth. It no longer helped to alleviate the pain he felt. He couldn't even work that day, he just ate all day without doing anything.

Beyond entered his work-room. In recent days, he has also noticed that something is wrong with Lawliet. Especially since he didn’t accept sex with him.

He stopped beside him with his arms crossed and stared at him.

L just glanced at him briefly and then continued to look at his plate and eat in silence.

"Care to explain what's going on?"

Lawliet raised an eyebrow, saying nothing. 

"L!"

"What?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Nothing. Im perfectly fine."

"Oh, yeah...? Well I don't think so. You are avoiding me all the time!"

L sighed and lazily turned his gaze back to him, "just because I'm avoiding you doesn't mean there's something wrong with me..."

"Does that mean you found someone else?!"

L rolled his eyes so much that he thought they went around a 360-degree.

"Even though I did, why do you care? We're not in a relationship anyway..."

B felt hurt again when L reminded him about it. He took few steps closer, paused behind him, and began massaging his back, saying, "You're mine, L... though maybe you don't want to accept that... but you are."

"Pfff... maybe in your dreams, but not in reality. You know it's over the day you left. I loved you back then, but not anymore. You ruined all the feelings I ever had for you... and I don't trust you anymore, anyway."

B's grip intensified on L's back.

"AUCH! Let go... it hurts!"

"It should hurt. To feel at least a little of the pain I feel." B leaned closer and began to whisper in L's ear, "It's no use opposing it, we're made for each other. That's why I came back to you because I realized it..."

The story that B told L was of course that he left A because he realized he still loved him. Although it was the complete opposite, A left him because he realized what kind of person B really was.

"I don't believe you, B. Not a word."

B started kissing and licking his earlobe as he wrapped his arms around L's neck caressing his delicate pale skin and pressing alternately while L was losing his breath.

"I want you L... I want you right now... let me show you how much I love you..."

L gasped and moaned from his touches and kisses, in his mind spinning from lack of oxigen.

"Mmmm..." L purred.

As L began to get more excited, the fork he held in his hand fell to the floor with a clang, and he gave B access to his throat bending his head to the side. B's wet kisses pleased him as his mind became empty. Even though B was an lying asshole, for some reason it was turning him on.

As the excitement grew, they heard the door open, which brought them back from their trance. B turned to the door and looked irritably at Mello who interrupted them.

Mello cleared his throat and said, "Sorry to interrupt, but I have to give something to L."

Both black-haired men watched him as he approached the table. L held out his hand and the white envelope soon ended up in his grip. Nervousness overwhelmed him, he had a guess what it was. Mello stood and waited for L to open.

L turned it over to see who the sender was. It was addressed in his name and the sender's address was High court in Japan, Tokyo.

B read over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow while reading, "... High court, Japan, Tokyo...?? What? What the hell did you do Lawliet!?"

L knew. Mello knew too, but they said nothing.

L felt relief on the one hand and anxiety on the other. 'I'll finally have a chance to see him. At least one more time...'

Relief mixed with sadness permeated him as he slowly opened the envelope. When he took out the paper, he started reading.

That was it. Just like he had expected. Deadline for filing an complaint was one month. But he didn't intend to submit an appeal. L's heart started pounding fast, his palms became sweaty.

"What the hell, Lawliet!? What the actual fuck!?" Beyond asked in surprise, as he read the contents of the letter. "Is this some kind of joke??"

L put the paper back in the envelope and shoved it all together into his pocket. "No, B, this is not a joke."

"Whaaat?? You raped some guy?! Wha-... how?! No, no... someone must be falsely accusing you, right...? RIGHT?!"

It was interesting for Mello to watch B's reactions. Although it wasn't something to laugh at, he smirked. Lawliet on the other hand had a serious expression all the time. "B... I'm guilty. All right?"

"No, it's not allright...! L, you can really end up in jail!"

"So what? No one will miss me anyway."

"Are you crazy ?! We're all going to miss you!"

"L, B is right. We will all miss you." Mello noticed that L was in his depressed state again. It was obvious on his face that he did care, even though he was trying to take responsibility for what he did.

"It doesn't matter. I'm guilty and I have to bear the consequences for what I did..."

B looked at him with his mouth open and his eyes wide. He couldn't believe what was really going on and what was he hearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	17. guns & roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Here I am with a new chapter. It's a little longer as always when it's reaching it's end... :) :/ eh... I'm slowly becoming nostalgic again :D

L paused in front of the Tokyo High Court Building, and looked up at the sky. His black hair swayed in the gentle breeze, his gaze was blank, but a storm of emotion was battling inside of him, he himself no longer knew what to expect, what to hope for, and what awaited him once he enters that building.

He walked slowly forward, his hands in the pockets of his black pants. After him followed his friends Mello and Matt, also Watari, next to him Near and behind them, B, with a grim expression on his face. On that day, he was quite aloof, just like L.

When they entered the building, they passed a strict check at the entrance and after that they looked for the courtroom where L's trial was to take place. When they found it, they sat on chairs in front of the door. Light had not yet arrived, they were first. They arrived fifteen minutes earlier, and then L's defender arrived after them.

After about five minutes, two men arrived, one with brown and the other with black hair, both dressed in suits that matched their hair and eyes.

L couldn't take his eyes off Light as soon as he spotted him. His heart clenched even more and he began to feel even bigger pain. The younger man looked irresistible in his maroon suit. Nicely groomed like a model from a magazine. It seemed so distant to L when he remembered that this man had wandered into their oasis just a few months ago, looking completely helpless, messy, and dirty...

Light greeted Watari, Mello and Matt and he just looked slightly and greeted three other men together, bowing. He hadn't had any relation with Near before, so he didn't feel the need to greet him in particular, he and L weren't on good terms, and he didn't know the third man and only raised an eyebrow at that when he noticed how the man stared at him. He wondered who it was and why he came with them. He didn't remember seeing him around while he was in the oasis.

Mikami also greeted them, bowing.

B was seething with rage and jealousy when he saw Light and realized that he was the man who was suing L. He didn't miss how attractive Light looked, more reason to hate him. He was sick at the thought of his L fucking him. He began to be convinced that the man had provoked him and deliberately did so in order to accuse him now and pretend that he didn't want to be fucked. 'That bastard... I'm sure he had done it on purpose. Just one look at him says it... real fuck-boy.'

With only a few minutes left until the start of the trial, Light and Mikami stood by the door and prepared mentally for what was to follow. "So the complaint against the accusation has not arrived...?"

"No. It didn't. We're on the right track... we have enough evidence and also witnesses," Mikami replied, looking at his watch again.

L noticed that Light and his lawyer were standing very close. They whispered something to each other, but it was all more intimate than it should have been. It was obvious that they were not just a client and a lawyer, but something more. Blood was boiling in his veins and a million questions were running through his head, 'how come his girlfriend didn't come too? Maybe they're not together anymore..? Did she leave him if she found out what happened to him? Did I ruin his relationship..?! Hell, why doesn't his lawyer take his eyes off him and stand so close?! Is he his lover??? Who is he to him?? Argh! Dammit!'

But... he caught Light's eye and his heart skipped a beat. It was not such a casual glance, which only flitted between two people for a moment, but one that awoken a million further questions, and aroused or buried hope and caught breath for a moment.

They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul.

L saw the spark of warmth in those eyes at that moment when he noticed Light watching him back. They kept their gaze longer than they intended to and then Light broke it as he looked at his lawyer who whispered something to him again and placed his hand on Light's back, gesture very intimate.

L wanted to approach that man and break his face and throw him out the window. He didn't like how the man was watching Light at all. He barely restrained himself from maintaining his calm and cool demeanor.

When they were called to the courtroom, they took their seats.

After presenting the whole case to the judge, L was called to explain how it all happened and that they would want to have explained that event from his point of view as well.

"I am guilty, Your Highness. I confess. And I want to apologize publicly to Yagami-kun." Lawliet told the judge briefly as he stood up.

Beyond didn't want to put up with it, so he retaliated before the judge could say anything, "L, shut up! It's not your fault, he provoked you!"

Light frowned at that and looked in the man's direction, barely restraining himself from interfering. 'What the heck?! Who the hell is this guy, and why is he acting like this?!'

They heard the pounding of a wooden hammer, "silence! The accused has a speech now."

Beyond reluctantly bit his tongue and continued to be quiet, arms crossed. Although he was silent, he didn't plan to give up just like that. He knew that there are other ways to solve this situation.

"Keep going." The judge pointed at L.

"I have nothing to add. I admit I'm guilty and that's it."

"Mr. Lawliet, we're here for a hearing. We have to conclude on the basis of some more constructive statement whether you're guilty or not. And we have to match the stories and check who's telling the truth. Of course the prosecutor has provided evidence, but this is not such a simple process. It would be best if you could tell us how and why it happened."

L sighed. He didn't want to talk about it. Not like that in front of everyone. But it seems that confession alone is not enough and he will have to tell everything. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. Slowly catching his breath, he opened his eyes and looked at Light, who was sitting across the hall in front of him. He didn't know what to say. How to start. He noticed that everyone present were starting to get impatient, so he began: "Here is how it happened... - One day Yagami-kun came to our oasis. He experienced a plane crash and reached us in the desert. We gave him water, food, but in return I took his body by the force, that is, I raped him."

"WHAAAT?!" Beyond asked bewildered again.

"Silence!" The judge warned again. "Keep going."

"I've been doing that repeatedly for a few days. Every day."

Behind him he heard Mello gasp. He could imagine what was going through the young man's head.

Watari just shook his head in disappointment.

"I.. I... I just took advantage of him like that."

Light frowned as he recalled those days. He shuddered and felt nauseous.

"And why did you do that?" That question was added by Light's lawyer.

"I don't know. I just did."

"There must be a reason... I'd like to hear it. It could be useful in this case." Mikami was persistent.

L hesitated. He was thinking about it and asked himself those questions all the time.

Then he started.

"Control... Hmm...? Yeah..."

L replied, not lowering his gaze from the other black-haired man.

"...and, dominance..."

Mikami came closer and looked at him challengingly. "Anything else?"

"Power..."

Mikami unconsciously clenched his fist.

"Sexual hunger... and simply... just because I could." But he remained silent about other negative, painful feelings that he denied and didn't want to admit even to himself.

"Hm..." Mikami somehow managed to stay cool.

Light stirred nervously. Those words bothered him and aroused at the same time.

"And after... what happened after? Why didn't you keep him instead and continue using him? Was it because they found out about it or...?"

L bit his lip. His pulse increased. He wanted to say the reason, he wanted Light to know at least, but he was afraid. All eyes were on him, it was terrifying. His throat tightened, he felt as if he would lose his breath at any moment.

He opened his lips after a short hesitation. It was scarier than he imagined it would be. He didn't even want to think about what kind of reaction he would provoke in those who were present, but all in all, he was most interested in and frightened by Light's reaction.

'I hate you.' It echoed in his mind.

Should he say it like this in front of everyone?

"We're waiting, mr. Lawliet." Mikami warned him.

"I... after I realized, I stopped. I stopped because..."

"Because..?"

"I fell for him."

Then, when he said that, he was looking at Light. He noticed Light's eyes widen as his brain processed the information. His mouth parted slightly and he noticed a slight reddening of his face. Then Light abruptly looked away, visibly confused and embarrassed.

L smirked to himself, then his mind registered all the voices around him.

Beyond's voice he heard first, "what the hell are you talking about, L! Are you nuts? To fall for that guy?!?"

Murmurs were heard all around the hall. Watari was also surprised.

"SILENCE!"

"We are sorry your highness."

"Please, continue."

B was red in the face with rage. He wanted to tear that young man apart. His L to fall in love with him? That was simply unacceptable.

"I think that's all I can say. I didn't force him on me anymore and after a few days we took him to town and sent him home. Before that I apologized to him once and he said he will sue me. I never intended to go against charges, I told him if he decides to do it, I will admit my guilt."

Mikami just stood and stared at him. The judge spoke first, "Do you want to ask the defendant any more questions?"

"No, that's all." Mikami replied shortly.

"Good. Then we can continue to question the prosecutor. Yagami-kun you have a word."

L sat down and Light stood up, nervous. L had just confessed his feelings to him and that meant Mello was right. He glanced at everyone present and L's lawyer asked, "So, Yagami-kun, how would you describe the whole event?"

Light cleared his throat and prepared to speak as his palms sweated and his heart beat faster. He felt as if it would jump out of his chest at any moment. "Thank you you Honor," Light thanked the judge and began to describe the event, "...although it is difficult for me to talk about it and say out loud what happened to me just a few weeks ago, I have no other choice, because the decision was made and the application was filed. But it is probably best to go in order in this case. Fortunately, I didn't have to sue the company I work for for the damage it contributed to me, because this is very difficult for me and mentally exhausting and exhausting." His voice began to shake, but he didn't want to allow himself that. He cleared his throat again and tried to compose himself and took a deep breath. "As you already know, that unfortunate accident happened and I felt alone in the middle of the desert with a minimum supply of food and water. I had to react quickly and decide whether to stay at the scene of the accident and wait for help or go and hope to somehow find the end out of the desert or a nearby oasis."

He looked again at those present in front of him and when he continued to speak, he looked up a little higher and focused at the wall behind them, "...between these two evil, I decided to move through the desert hoping to find some salvation on the way. That indeed happened, but I had to pay a high price."

L's heart tightened and he quickly turned his gaze down. He struggled to keep the redness from coming out to his face. B just shook his head, mumbling something under his breath, not believing the other man a word. The others listened carefully and with interest.

"I came across an inhabited oasis and knew, that is, I hoped to be saved. The guards stopped me as I stepped into their territory and then called the owner who locked me in a cage like some animal."

The judge raised an eyebrow at that, without saying anything, but it was all written down in a record that the typist quickly filled out, page after page.

“While I was locked up there, they brought me food and water and for that I am grateful to them, and among them I gained two friends who took care of me, but unfortunately when no one else was around L Lawliet would come and rape me at least once each day."

"You son of a...-!"

The sound of a wooden hammer resounded through the hall again. Watari calmed and silenced Beyond.

Light shot him a glare and continued, "he raped me every night. Until one night he came again, but then I stood up against him with the intention of defending myself. It was enough for me to always be weak. I gathered a little strength after a few days and felt better, so I went to the defense and we started a fight. That day it all stopped."

Light didn't want to mention the kiss and the fact that the feelings in him started to change after that day.

"He left my room where I was later housed and it never happened again."

"Um... interesting." L's lawyer said. "And how did you feel after that? I guess you must have felt great relief besides all those negative feelings that had accumulated in you."

"Yes. I was relieved, but only for a short time. Afterwards I had the paranoia that it could happen again. Every day I expected the rapist to come in and do with me whatever he wanted."

"And did he came back to do it again?"

"No. Not once."

Light keep for himself the one detail again. A drunken night when they kissed and slept both in the same bed.

"That's good news. I won't say mitigating, but the accused will certainly rest for a couple of years in prison for it."

L hung his head and clenched his fists. B was already on the edge and wanted to protest and shout again, but Watari put his hand on his shoulder.

"And now we know the reason for that. The accused began to develop feelings for the victim. It reminds me a little of the Lima syndrome."

Lawliet felt ashamed. He didn't feel like he had any syndrome, he believed that his feelings were sincere and not that he was ill. But.. maybe he is right...?

Suddenly he wanted to run away from everything and everyone. He wanted to curl up somewhere in his room and disappear. He wondered why he had exposed his soul and confessed his feelings in front of everyone. Now it all seemed stupid.

Mikami turned to the judge, "so? Is that enough?"

"I don't know... in my opinion I think it is, but ask the victim whether to 'torture' him a little more or...?"

The black-haired man looked at his watch again. A gesture, which he sometimes did purely out of habit. "All right then," and he turned to Light.

L frowned, as did B. They turned their gaze to Light and his lawyer. 'What's going on...? Torture?' asked L himself.

When Mikami turned and approached Light, he noticed that the younger man was shaking. He sat in the chair, his head bowed and his fists clenched into balls. He couldn't see his face.

"Light? Light... what's going on? Are you okay...?"

Light didn't know what to say or what to do. A rush of emotion suddenly overwhelmed him and his heart tightened with the sadness and pain he felt. A couple of tears rolled down his face and fell on the table. Mikami's eyes widened when he noticed them, "Light?!"

Mikami bent down to look into the man's face. He saw sadness in those eyes. He placed his hand on Light's head. "You want us to end this?"

Light nodded slightly, not looking up. His whole face turned red. He had to face now things he had prepared himself.

"Just breathe... everything will be fine." Mikami gave him a handkerchief to wipe his face.

L stood up, worried, "what's going on?" He almost run to them, "Is Light okay?"

"Thanks for caring, Mr. Lawliet, Yagami-kun is fine. Just a little shaken by the whole situation."

"Why do you care, L?!" B snapped.

L only shot him a venomous look.

"Silence! Let's finish this." The judge warned again.

Everyone turned their attention to him again.

The older man adjusted his glasses on his face, sighed dramatically and began to speak, in a raised tone so that everyone present could hear him. "So... based on everything that's been presented here today, I can draw a conclusion."

Everyone was looking and waiting, holding their breaths.

"Defendant Mr. L Lawliet can get a second chance. He kept the promise he made to the victim and thus showed that his repentance was sincere."

"WHAT?!?" What the fuck is this?!" B started again.

L was also confused, but waited the judge to continue. The older man pounded the wooden hammer again and continued to speak. "The conclusion is: L Lawliet gets a second chance. If he hurts the victim again in any case, he loses the right to any contact with him and the case will be further resolved according to what situation arises."

L blinked once. Twice. He still didn't understand.

Light felt a slight relief. It was over. Finally over. It was now up to L how he would react to the situation. Will he approach him and want to settle things and maybe start something more, or will he just leave and return home? He sincerely hoped it would be the first.

"W-what ?? I don't understand..."

"You're free, Mr. Lawliet." The judge replied with a slight smile on his face.

"But... this is not how it works..." L frowned.

"I know... but, this was a special case. That is, this was not a real case at all."

L's chin fell. His eyes seemed to pop out of his head. 'But, why? How..? ' He turned his gaze to Light, who was watching him shyly. Mikami came closer to them because he saw disbelief in Lawliet's eyes.

"Mr. Lawliet... I know it all seems strange to you at the moment, but it's true. It was Light who initiated those things, I just helped him organize."

The black-haired man just watched him sceptically. He didn't know what to say. On the one hand, he was already mentally ready to be imprisoned, and on the other hand, he had to face a completely different reality now. He was happy and confused and still in disbelief with whole event.

Behind him B had an equally confused expression, but angry. And after that, his anger increased. Watari, Matt, Mello and Near knew everything was set up. B got up again and wanted to protest, but then Near stopped him by gripping his hand, "don't."

"Don't tell me what to do, Nate!"

Near bit his lip but didn't let go.

"You can go to Light if you want. I believe there's a lot you should talk about." Said Mikami reassuringly to L.

'Light...'

L looked at the younger man again. Light looked at him back.

'Oh... Light...'

His heart jumped with joy and nervousness but L moved towards him finally. He put his hands in his pockets and approached him slowly, pausing nervously. He didn't know what to say to him and start even the most ordinary conversation with him. It was still difficult for him to process the information that the trial was fake and that Light had initiated it. 'What was your plan Light...?' 

"Yagami-kun... I... I..."

Light gave him a small smile, but the shivering and nervousness still persisted.

Then they heard a shout.

"L! NO! I won’t let you have my L!" Angry and red-faced Beyond Birthday stood up and yanked himself out of Near's grip.

L turned and Light also looked at the other dark haired man. Everyone turned their attention to him for a moment.

"I WON'T LET YOU HAVE HIM!" B was yelling.

L noticed something black in B's hand in a split of the second. His adrenaline levels jumped when he realized what it was, and the fear that he would be late.

B aimed in their direction.

The shot echoed through the courtroom.

Everyone froze.

They heard the beating of their hearts in their ears and the shot echoed in their ears.

It all happened fast.

L was with his body in front of Light, with his arms sprawled in defense. Light grabbed him by the shoulders as L lost his balance.

"L!!!"

The second shot rang through the room.

L expected to feel pain, but that feeling didn't come. He looked in B's direction with wide eyes and saw the guards surrounding him, and he also noticed that Light's lawyer was holding a hand in which B was holding a gun.

Fortunately, Mikami reacted in time.

The bullet flew up into the wall behind Light and L.

'Thank God...' L thought at that moment and felt relieved. 'But how did B get past security and control at entrance..?' It was the next question that formed in his head.

Then L heard the voices of those present.

"He's armed! Watch out! Grab him! Take his gun!"

It was only then that L noticed which model of pistol it was. It was a weapon of the type that security scanners could not detect. Only thing what left was to hide it well somewhere in the pants or jacket.

"LET ME GO!" B shouted angrily because he failed to shoot the brown-haired man.

"L!!! You're mine!! MINEEE!"

Security took him out of the room as he began to be uncontrollably aggressive.

Everyone looked at each other in disbelief. L then turned to Light, who had wide open eyes and began to tremble even more.

"Yagami-kun! Wha-? It's okay... everything is fine now. He is gone... he is not here anymore." L assured him, coming closer and looking at him with worried look. "It's over..."

He didn't know what to do. The only thing that came to his mind was to give him a hug. But he didn't know if it's appropriate, and if Light would accept it, but he decided to take a risk.

As he pulled Light to him and wrapped his arms around his body, Light hesitated at first, then after a while he also put his arms around L and returned the hug. L felt his body slowly relax.

"Thank you..." Light said in low voice.

"For what?"

"You almost took a bullet for me... luckily that Mikami reacted fast..."

"Oh... that... That just my body moved of its own."

Light tightened his grip. Just a moment ago, he thought he had lost him.

"Well... this was a typical attempted murder and life-threatening." Suddenly the judge said.

Everyone could only agree. Mello, Matt, Near and Watari were in disbelief. They were recovering from the shock. They all knew that B is reckless, but they didn't know to which extent.

A Light and L stood embraced as their bodies and hearts slowly started to feel the connection.

'I was afraid...'

'...and I've missed you.'

'I love you...'

'...I'm happy that I'm finally beside you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small addition regarding the trial. With no experience with such things, this trial may have seemed a little inauthentic, but again, it should be so because that trial was fake anyway. :D
> 
> ...and yes, Jessicanat you were right. After all, in the end you saw what's coming :D ;)
> 
> And Light and L finally found their way to each other. ❤
> 
> The next chapter will be a bonus chapter, or an epilogue to what happened after some time :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story, and I want to thank to everyone who took the time to read it. ❤


	18. Epilogue - WHOLE

**One year later**

Light was in the kitchen preparing lunch. Behind him he heard the door open.

"Hello my love." His black-haired boyfriend greeted him and hugged him from behind, pulling him closer to him. Light smiled and continued to stir the dish he was preparing.

"Hello. You arrived on time. Lunch is almost ready."

"I see. It smells great. I wasn't very hungry but this opened my appetite."

"I'm glad."

Although they had people who were cooking for them, since they started living together, Light started cooking for them sometimes. It was his new hobby. He had been doing it until then, but he didn’t particularly enjoy it before.

Sometimes he prepared a romantic dinner for them and sometimes some exotic or traditional lunch. He loved learning new recipes and trying new things. In addition to it, L also enriched his menu.

It was a win-win for both.

"You cook so well, I have a feeling I'm going get fat."

"Hahah, don't worry." Light responded with a smile on his face and a provocative look.

"You won't be alone."

L's eyes widened and he uttered one short and loud - "NO!"

"No, no, no, no! You can't get fat Light!"

"Hahah, why not? We will be fat together."

"Nooooo..."

Light started laughing out loud when he saw L's expression as he turned to face him.

"Say, aaaaaa..."

"Aaaa... no! No!"

"Aww... just taste it if it's good." Light was giving him lick the cooker and try if the dish was delicious or if he needed to add some spice.

"I believe you that it's delicious, but I'm on a diet from today!"

"L.. don't exaggerate... I was just kidding." Light pursed his lips.

"That trick won't work on me, you know."

"Okay, you'll be hungry, because you won't have anything to eat, I'll eat everything by myself!"

"Ok-... wait, no... Noooo...!!!"

After meal followed other pleasures. They ended up in the bed, clothes scattered all over the bedroom and only moans, wet sounds of kisses and creaking of the bed could be heard.

Light loved it when he felt L's kisses on his skin. And he especially loved it when L kissed him on his bare back and fuck him from behind.

"Aaaahhh... L... faster.. OOH... deeper!"

And L always made sure to give him maximum pleasure. That day after the ‘trial’ they started dating, but went into the relationship rather slowly and cautiously.

In addition, Watari was adamant that L go to some therapist. Light decided that the two of them would be together in that and he also decided that he would go with him as well. It could be seen that they both worked hard on the relationship and endured a full eight months of going to the psychologist together.

And sex... It wasn't until five weeks later that they began to enjoy more intimate things. Although it was difficult for L, in the end the wait paid off. He knew Light was worth the wait. Now he could enjoy being with the person he loves and who loves him back.

Light spread his legs even wider, so that L could enter as deep as possible. He moaned more as L picked up the pace. Their bodies began to sweat as they approached their climax. L grabbed Light’s hard member and stimulated him in the rhythm of his thrusts. Light simply adored that feeling and never had enough of it.

When L felt Light cumming, it brought him to his climax and he dropped his seed deep into Light's heat. When he emptied, he pulled out and wiped the mess. He collapsed next to the younger man and Light snuggled up to him, turning his head to him, and capturing his lips.

They covered themselves with a thin blanket and continued to kiss tenderly. L ran his fingers through Light's silky hair and the other through his smooth skin of his back.

From the moment they started to be together, L felt like in paradise. His life gained meaning and the days were no longer so gloomy and dark.

He also felt happy that day. He managed to complete his biggest project so far and in addition he had someone to celebrate it with, and someone to share his happiness and successes with.

Simply, he just felt whole.

Light's lips slowly kissed his and L melted with that tenderness. When they stopped kissing, L caught Light's eye and decided to do something, which he was afraid to do until then.

"Light-kun?"

"Yes, L...?"

He wanted to turn his feeling into the words. Although, he always made sure to show Light how he was feeling about him, he felt the need to say it out loud.

"...ummm... you know how I'm happy around you, right?"

"Yes, I think so... why?"

"Are you happy here with me, too?"

"Yes, silly, I'm happy with you. I would be happy with you always, no matter where we are."

"I am glad to hear that."

Light smiled and asked again, "what? You look like something's bothering you..."

"Ah... no, not that it's bothering me, but..."

Light kept his eyes on him. He waited patiently, rising to a sitting position allowing the blanket to slip and reveal his naked body.

L admired the view for a second, then continued, "Yagami Light. I want you to know that _I love you._ "

Light was touched by those words, and it was sweet to see how nervous L was about it.

"Hm... I'm glad to hear that."

L was a little hurt because Light didn't reply the way he would have liked. He just smiled and watched him.

It was awkward. But, Light was doing it on purpose. Then, suddenly he straddled him and smacked their lips together.

L was taken aback.

Their tongues danced a few seconds, and as it started to be heated again, Light broke the kiss.

L looked up at him with eyes wide open.

Auburn man smirked at him and traced his fingers through L's torso.

Goosebumps appeared on L's skin as Light leaned closer and whispered to his ear, "I love you too."

This caused his member to rise again and become hard and ready. Light felt it too, and it sent waves of excitement through his body. Light pressed his member on L's and began to move, rubbing them against each other soon ready for another round.

*

The prison gates opened with a loud creak of metal. Several prisoners left the prison, finally free, but none of them was the man the white-haired young man was waiting for. He frowned, and crossed his arms and continued to wait. His eyes were hidden behind the sunglasses, and the fabric of his white shirt was caressed by a gentle wind.

He saw a black-haired man at the door, whose hair became even longer while he was in prison, because he didn't want to have his hair cut there.

'Finally.'

The man noticed him and walked towards him, switched his leather jacket over his shoulder, because it was too hot to put on.

"B."

"So... you've come..."

"Of course. I knew that no one else would come. And you need money and somewhere to start because you're forbidden to go to the oasis."

"Pfff... L still probably lives there with his new boyfriend."

"Yes." Near answered shortly, not wanting to start that topic. He sincerely hoped that B improved a little while he was in prison for a year, for attempted murder.

Beyond rolled his eyes, still jealous that his ex had found his happiness with another. But on the other hand, he knew that he will have to accept it. He simply must avoid them, and he decided he will not risk being imprisoned again. He had enough of it, he could hardly wait to be released.

And now, he also had someone who took care of him. Although he hadn't thought about it before, as Near continued to visit him in prison, B began to 'see' him in a slightly different way.

"Fuck them! I just wanna take one good shower and a proper sleep. I haven't had that for too long."

Near looked in his direction again as they walked side by side. "I rented an apartment for you, I hope you'll like it."

B looked back at Near, "I hope so too. Thanks."

Indeed, no one else took care of him after that, only Near.

Some thought crossed his mind after and B paused.

Near noticed that B paused, so he stopped as well. "What... why are you staring at me like that?"

B just grinned and pulled the young man closer, leaning in, smacking their lips together. Near's eyes widened in surprise, but he was glad that it hapen. He also felt attraction to the other man. Near grabbed his shirt, to hold his balance, he didn't expect to be so lightheaded.

B then broke the kiss, and spoke, "lets go. We will continue with this once we arrive to hotel room."

Near just nodded, his face flushed pink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that this is something that happens very rarely, but it is something that it's not entirely impossible. And I once heard a story that a victim met her rapist after some time, online, and they started dating at the end. Not that I approve raping, hell no, but I just wanted to write some unusual LawLight story, so this Idea came to my mind.
> 
> Well, let me know what you think! :D


End file.
